Who do you really judge when judging someone?

My topic this week is commonly discussed, and I’m adding no more to the conversation than another anecdote, so I decided I’d give a short course of my piece to save you time if you’re uninterested: Get over yourself, and don’t judge others.

Anyway, this Spring Break I went back home to visit my family and friends. A piece of the beautiful canvas of my old town is the community there. I wouldn’t be as quick to say it’s an antiquity like some of the more northern, rural cities of Florida, but a large portion of the community consists of elderly and retired citizens. With old dogs come old tricks (as well as old idioms), and, at least most of the time, old opinions.

Let me preface this. I was enjoying myself and minding my business with a few friends at the mall. A member of our group had needed to use the restroom, and the rest of us decided to just sit down to chill for a second at the seating area near us. We had been talking for a bit, but, per usual, the conversation died down for a second. So we all just looked at our phones as we waited on our friend. In that moment, an older man passed by us. As he walked by, he shook his head and mumbled to himself “No sense of ‘real’ relationships.” Also, I think his ears were bad because we all heard him pretty well for something that was meant to be a mumble.

I think it would be safe to assume — based on my experience with this multiple times in the past — that he was talking about all of us gazing into the life-stealing device that is a mobile telephone. Oh, the horror!

After we all heard this, my friends and I just smiled. Even though in this little moment we were all wasting our time by staring into the infinite abyss imposed on us by the modern world, we all knew how wrong this old man was. These were my homies. I’ve partied everywhere with these fools, climbed cranes and construction buildings with these idiots, had six-hour philosophical conversations with these morons (too many times to count), cried with these b-------, snuck into pools and skinny-dipped with these squares and done more than I could even fit into this column space. They’ll even end up the godfathers or pseudo-uncles of my children someday.

So what was this old man basing his judgment from? Well, simply put: insecurity — insecurity of a changing time. He might not have had any ill intention and actually wished for us to have ‘good friendships’ by whatever definition he decided was good. Honestly, I don’t really disagree with him too much. I recommend people experience friendships past something as transient or ephemeral as an intangible, electronic relationship. The only difference between me and him is that I’m secure in what I believe. I understand that not everyone is going to think like I do, and that’s OK. If you can tell me you’re happy with whatever it is you’re doing and that whatever you’re doing doesn’t hurt another person, then cool.

This is a petty judgment that, in the long run, doesn’t matter. However, if we can be so sensitive to difference that we’d loudly mumble our judgment upon others, then when does it stop? Things like this can be sourced to other forms of judgment, which are much more powerful and damaging: homophobia, racism, religious persecution, etc.

Next time you judge someone, think about who it is you’re really judging. Judgment is the imposition of your beliefs onto another person. When you judge another person, you’re actually insecurely qualifying your own beliefs because that person is challenging them. Are you so insecure in what you believe that you must do that?

James Hardison is a UF English sophomore. His column appears on Tuesdays.