You may not realize it, but Student Government slating starts today. That’s right, our semiannual circus is back in town, ready to pitch its tents and set up the same old platforms.
As we reflect upon our experiences with SG, we present you with the somehow-we’re-not-excited-to-watch-the-same-election-play-out-every-year edition of...Darts & Laurels.
If the election isn’t in full swing, the bickering and name-calling sure is.
Maybe we’re deluded to think tomorrow’s politicians will pride themselves on civility, but after receiving some obviously untrue letters to the editor, we’ve decided our publication won’t become a forum for insults and lies this semester.
So we’re chucking a how-about-criticizing-your-opponents’-platforms-instead-of-calling-them-names DART to SG zealots.
Take a deep breath and step away from the libel.
Heck, even Congress took a minute to stop its bickering for the State of the Union address.
Political rivals sat together, giving the appearance — however feigned — that the country can still unite beyond party lines.
For that hour of forced smiles and intense clapping, we’re giving we-wanted-to-spray-paint-them-red-and-blue-but-that-would-defeat-the-purpose LAURELS to Republicans and Democrats for being a civil and respectful audience.
Their attitude beats the discourtesy and outbursts the nation witnessed during last year’s speech.
While we’re at it, we’re also giving a we-don’t-buy-all-of-your-talking-points-but-we-like-the-way-you’re-thinking LAUREL to President Obama for using a conciliatory tone that’s been missing from Washington for a while.
Though we doubt the president’s goals will all be fulfilled, we’ve got a success story on our hands at UF.
For setting a noble goal, meeting it, then promising to do even more for the downtrodden, we’re throwing a way-to-show-The-Gator-Nation-is-indeed-everywhere LAUREL to Gators United for Haiti.
The group surpassed its $50,000 goal and is aiming higher to help victims of the 2010 earthquake, and everyone can respect their commitment.
But enough with the niceties.
We’ve got a grudge to handle.
Imagine you’re without power for hours, sitting inside on a rainy day without the ability to check your email or type up a document.
Imagine you’re also putting together a newspaper in an office, and you’ve got a deadline to meet.
Now you’ve got a pretty accurate picture of what happened to us Tuesday night.
For helping us bring our electricity bill down in the most undesirable way and giving some of us a crazy story to tell at job interviews, we’re launching a you-must-have-forgetten-to-check-your-calendar-because-it’s-not-hurricane-season-yet DART to the weather.
That said, at the risk of looking as arrogant as Napoleon crowning himself, we’re awarding our newsroom a you’re-welcome-for-turning-out-a-paper-under-apocalyptic-conditions LAUREL.
Honestly, we think we deserve a pat on the back for that one.
Until next week, Gators, play nice.
