So you’re finally ready to dump all the knowledge you (hopefully) absorbed over the semester in a cathartic flurry of finals, term papers and unnecessarily harsh “Rate My Professors” rants?
Well, since you won’t be retaining a drop of this knowledge, you’ll have a lot of space in that hollow, post-test head of yours to fill over winter break. And on that note, we’re happy to present you with a don’t-worry-about-your-calculus-grade-you-can-learn-more-important-lessons-outside-the-classroom edition of...
Darts & Laurels
To prove the very point that learning doesn’t stop at lecture hall doors (or at the end of a Smokin’ Notes packet), filmmakers descended on Gainesville last summer to record the life of Melinda Augustus, a custodian at the Florida Museum of Natural History.
The film, “The Philosopher Kings,” follows Augustus as she tells her story and focuses on seven other custodians from universities across the nation. The lesson: “Wisdom can come from more than just textbooks and teachers.”
For candidly telling her life story and giving Gainesville and Alachua residents a spot in the media they can truly be proud of, we would like to give a keep-smiling-and-we’re bound-to-learn-something LAUREL to Melinda Augustus.
Unfortunately, not all of the lessons we will encounter over break are positive ones.
Even the most benign and relatively insignificant events can provide a stinging lesson of regret. And it is with regret that we report Florida State University has beaten UF in a Facebook competition for a free Weezer concert.
While we find Weezer mildly amusing, we probably wouldn’t have gone to the show — even if it was free. But losing to FSU at just about anything, including trivial Facebook contests... well, it’s just plain unbearable.
So we have to throw a this-wasn’t-an-SG-election-so-we-expected-a-better-turnout DART at UF students and alumni. The lesson: Online voting probably won’t help low voter interest in UF elections. Maybe try relevance?
One of the most difficult out-of-the-classroom lessons this week was learned by former Arkansas Gov. Mike Hukabee.
His future presidential hopes were likely crushed by Maurice Clemmons, who allegedly shot and killed four police officers in Lakewood, Wash., on Sunday. It was revealed that Huckabee granted clemency to Clemmons some nine years ago for crimes he committed while in high school. Clemmons ultimately returned to a life of crime, culminating in Sunday’s brutal shootings. He was shot and killed by police after evading capture for two days.
For taking the life of the four officers and forever damaging their families, and for ruining many deserving juvenile defendants’ chances for clemency, we throw a we-knew-you’d-get-what-was-coming-to-you-eventually DART at Maurice Clemmons. The lesson for Huckabee: Compassion doesn’t always pay off.
Thankfully, members of the UF chapter of Habitat for Humanity showed us on Thursday that some good deeds do go unpunished. The group raised awareness for its cause by building gingerbread house-style recreations of the Great Wall of China, Ben Hill Griffin Stadium and, of course, our favorite, the Reitz Union. We wonder if they had enough materials left over for the expansion. Were there enough gum drops and icing cement to complete the renovation?
For raising money for an important cause and getting UF students involved by any means necessary (sweets never hurt), we would like to give a you’re-as-sweet-as-your-gingerbread-Reitz-Union LAUREL to UF Habitat for Humanity. Because no one has ever made asbestos taste this good! The lesson: Don’t give up hope on good deeds.
That’s it for this week. Hope you can remember these lessons better than the calculus (or biology, English or Man’s Food).
