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Saturday, November 23, 2024

Nothing is sexier than intelligence. OK... and Channing Tatum—but that’s beside the point. So, why don’t you grab a book this summer while lathering up for some serious sunbathing? No one is suggesting you bust out that dreadful book you got two birthdays ago from Grandma. Instead, catch up with these reads to cool you off—and to distract you from that horrendously loud family on the towel to your left. The following books are perfect for relaxing by the pool, flying across the country or on a rainy Florida afternoon.

For Laughs…

“CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG” 

By Chelsea Handler

The host of E!’s late night talk show, “Chelsea Lately,” has released her third book, joining the ranks of her previous, “My Horizontal Life” and “Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea?” –all of which have nabbed spots on The New York Times Best Sellers List. Her large print retellings of the wacky stories in her life are complete with pictures so you get the whole effect of her debaucheries.

Excerpt from “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang”:

“Our house is technologically rigged with gadgets and remotes and settings, all of which I have somewhere between slight and zero interest in. When it comes to math or electronics, I am somewhat more advanced than a 6-year-old who’s been homeschooled by Levi Johnston.”

Coming soon to a theater near you…

“EAT, PRAY, LOVE”

By Elizabeth Gilbert

In August, this memoir-turned-movie starring Julia Roberts and James Franco will hit theaters. Elizabeth Gilbert, journalist and recent divorcee, travels to Rome, Bali and India, each accounting for either an “eat” “pray” or “love.” This self-told true story is full of immediate charm as one woman sets out to find herself.

Excerpt from “Eat Pray Love”:

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“I wish Giovanni would kiss me. Oh, but there are so many reasons why this would be a terrible idea. To begin with, Giovanni is 10 years younger than I am, and, like most Italian guys in their 20s, he still lives with his mother.”

And for the asshole…

“I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL”

By Tucker Max

Sorry ladies, but just because a guy goes to law school doesn’t mean he’s Prince Charming. Tucker Max proves this in his autobiographical recounts of his drunken, womanizing activities. With chapters involving treating women like dirt and policemen like idiots, this book is sure to offend anyone and everyone at some point – but that’s what makes it all the more interesting.

Excerpt from “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”:

“My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world.”

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