Venting through journal writing and coming to terms with the 'new normal’

It’s obvious the past few months have initiated our transition into a sort of new normal. Several of my fellow columnists have addressed it, and I have spent plenty of time trying to come to terms with it. More often than not, this “coming to terms” has taken the form of scrolling through Facebook and growing increasingly anxious with every news article, political post and comment war I encounter. Unsurprisingly, this unhealthy routine has left me not only emotionally drained but also stressed as hell. So as a result, I’ve found myself at a crossroad where I’m forced to choose either my sanity or the responsibility of being an informed citizen — but not both.

The timing of all this happens to coincide with my final semester at UF, which sprinkles even more stress on top of my pre-existing unease. However, this turned out to be a stroke of luck, as my new schedule came with a class with one central assignment: Write in a journal every day. The class meets once a week, with the majority of it spent sharing public interpretations of our private writings and discussing the journaling process as a form of self-discovery. The majority of our work remains hidden in the journals, unseen by anyone other than ourselves. I’ve always had a difficult relationship with journal writing. I loved it but only seemed to write anything in the rare instances when I was feeling utterly overwhelmed by emotion. What resulted was a journal filled with a lot of terrible poetry about boys who had wronged me — and not a whole lot of introspection.

Taking a class that forced me to stay committed to journal writing gave me the ideal outlet to sort through a lot of incomprehensible events of personal and global significance. That’s not to say that I’ve come up with solutions for any of them but merely reflected on them and evaluated them from as many different perspectives as I can. In the end, a lot of the conflict I see on social media stems from reactionary arguments. Taking the time to reflect on whatever it is that’s frustrating you results in a deeper understanding that translates into a type of power.

Journal writing has a bit of a learning curve. At first, there’s the overwhelming sense that writing incessantly about your thoughts is incredibly narcissistic — on the other hand, so is writing an opinions column and assuming people care what you think.

You can’t help but feel strange when you break out the journal in public. As the 24 students in my class discussed the journaling process, our desks arranged in a haphazard circle, this was one of the chief concerns. To give you a more specific impression of the class’s tone, my professor’s response was, “Perhaps you should write in your journal, and explore why you care so much about what others think.”

More than anything else, journal writing can feel like a complete waste of time in a world constantly threatened by tangible, insurmountable problems. With time and practice comes the realization that keeping a journal is a form of self-care, which ultimately results in your increased ability to tackle those problems head-on. Additionally, taking the time to regularly consider the world around you, despite how incomprehensible it often seems, quickly becomes a habit. And I truly believe we could all benefit from a more contemplative world.

Marisa Papenfuss is a UF English senior. Her column appears on Tuesdays.