Valentine’s Day gets a bad rap.
If you’re in love, you’ve had your day planned for weeks, months even. If you’re single, you must be a bitter, depressed, crazy cat lady. If you’re seeing someone casually, you’re crossing the clingy line if you to want to spend time with him or her today.
There are a few misconceptions about Valentine’s Day, and although any of the aforementioned hypotheticals are possible and sometimes true, there’s no reason everyone can’t have an enjoyable day.
Like any holiday, this commercialized day in February comes with connotations and expectations about what we should focus on.
But regardless of how you celebrate — or don’t — the best way to enjoy your day is just to tell yourself you will.
From the time we were in grade school, we’ve been taught that Feb. 14 is the day to express love and affection for those we care about.
Then, all you had to worry about was making sure the printed card stock your parents bought for you to hand out expressed the right “je ne sais quoi” by way of a Count Dracula sucking a full IV and saying “You’re my type,” or Sesame Street’s Oscar the Grouch exclaiming, “I <3 Trash!”
As you got older, the focus shifted from being nice to your classmates to expressing your undying devotion for someone by dropping serious cash on bouquets of roses or worrying about what corset-and-garter-belt combo would best suit the post-romantic-five-course-dinner mood.
And as social beings in a consumerist society, it’s hard to go completely against the lovey-dovey mush we’re fed by the general public and the media.
Americans are predicted to spend $37 billion in wining, dining and gifting in celebration of love this year, according to American Express.
I’ll be the first to say it: I love spending money. I love flowers. I love lingerie, and I love fancy dinners.
I just don’t see the need to cram all the fun into the one day — then again, I’ve never been a conformist.
On days where everyone is expected to be go all out, it’s the small things that impress me. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to be grateful for those who always notice the color of your nails or the person who opens the door for you, even when it’s raining and neither of you have an umbrella.
It can also be the perfect time to share your personal pizza with Netflix and thank the people who answer your frantic texts about the aggressive creep on Tinder.
But you shouldn’t compare your Valentine’s Day ideals to mine. Don’t compare them to anyone’s.
Maybe you feel great in lingerie regardless of how much you’ve eaten. Maybe a movie and wine for two has always worked for you, and maybe you’re expecting your guy to know you want to be proposed to on Valentines Day, but you don’t want to have to tell him.
Just kidding, hopefully that’s only one crazy girl on Lulu.
Some years, Valentine’s Day calls for silly cards and chocolates. Some years it calls for time alone with your cat — and remember, guys can be cat ladies, too.
What if the only thing you’ll find enjoyment in today is pasting your ex’s face to the bullseye of a darts board? That’s OK. It’s America, and I’m sure you can find a cool bar that will encourage you, maybe even reward you, for doing just that.
[Marjorie Nunez is a UF journalism senior. Her columns appear on Fridays. A version of this column ran on page 7 on 2/14/2014 under the headline "A nonconformist guide to loving Feb. 14"]
