The Gators welcome the Rockets to town on Saturday as the college football season continues to hurtle through the atmosphere after blasting off Thursday night. We here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column believe this game would have been much more badass had they switched the location to the launching pad at the John F. Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral. I mean, c’mon. It’s the perfect marriage of Florida and rockets, or so we think. We welcome you to another season of the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column, where we all know that when it comes to picking against the spread, it’s a trap!
Debating this weekend’s brightest collection of stars — the Georgia-Clemson matchup — are Adam Lichtenstein and Adam Pincus. Remember, guys, to always let the Wookie win...
Georgia (-2) will bring balance to the force and destroy Clemson because...
Three words: Aaron freakin’ Murray! I know that’s not his name, but the senior is going to tear apart a Clemson defense that finished 71st in the nation in passing defense last year. Murray has improved every single year, which means he is poised to finish this season with close to 4,000 passing yards. He’s going to start his Heisman candidacy early with a monster game against the Tigers. Also, running backs Todd Gurley and Keith Marshall are really, really good.
– Adam Lichtenstein
Clemson (+2) will obliterate Georgia to infinity and beyond because...
Aaron Murray, a Heisman Trophy candidate, won’t stand a chance against the Tigers and the sea of orange in Death Valley. Dabo Sweeney, the reincarnation of Captain Kirk, will lead the Tigers in their biggest upset since, well, beating LSU in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. Nobody bets against Captain Kirk. That guy is the man. Oh, Taj Boyd and Sammy Watkins are pretty good, too.
– Adam Pincus
Now on to the picks!
Last year’s champion, Bryan "What a waste of humanity" Holt, of InsideTheGators.com returns as a guest picker, hoping to actually begin living a half-decent life after a 2012 season full of one horrible mistake after another. Have some damn self-respect. Sheesh.
Making his Picks Column debut is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar "Angel Dust" Thompson, who actually uttered the following at media availability this week: "Yeah, man. PCP will mess you up for a week." Are you speaking from experience or — wait, we don’t want to know.
Returning to the Picks Column after a year off is Cody "[Insert insult here]" Jones of FightinGators.com, a guy that is so damn vanilla and lifeless, we have nothing bad to say about him. We know you’re married now, but damn it, give us a pulse or something!
New to the Picks Column is alligatorSports editor Phil "Uh, I forgot my wallet" Heilman, who made his girlfriend pay for dinner when the two split a burrito at a Mexican restaurant last weekend. Hey, Phil, try not to "forget your wallet" when the rent is due on Monday. OK, pal?
Also new to both the football beat and the Picks Column is alligatorSports assistant editor Adam "Steve" Lichtenstein, who is called "Steve" around the office because, well, we have two Adams on staff. Not sure if there’s a punchline here. It’s sort of just sad for you, really.
Another new addition to the Picks Column this season is Thomas "Wine and Cheese" Goldkamp of 247sports.com. Thomas, if you want to "play house" in your new big-boy apartment, buying a platter of assorted cheeses is one of the weirdest things you could do.
Making a return for his second go-around in the Picks Column is alligatorSports Staff Writer Adam "Reporting for the Florida Times-Union" Pincus, who is now the TU’s lone reporter on the Gators football beat on weekdays. OH, MY GOD! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE? NO! NO! NO!
Beginning his second season on the football beat is alligatorSports resident elder Joe "Fatal Attraction" Morgan, who stalked a professor he hoped would help him with an independent study. After leaving her 15 voicemails and building a campfire outside her office, you’d think he’d give up. Nope. He cornered her in her classroom. Christ, just fill out your schedule with Man’s Food like the rest of us.
