A shadow descended upon the Alligator staff Monday night.
As we sat in our offices, diligently slaving over computer screens to produce Tuesday’s paper, a villain with a thirst for mayhem stole our distribution van right from under our noses.
The vehicle, henceforth affectionately referred to as Van, was minding his own business in the parking lot just last night when he was purloined.
Those who spotted him later thought he was being driven lawfully. But he was being taken against his will. (We’re sure he would have screamed for help had his hood not been latched.)
Put yourself in Van’s tires. You’re sleeping on your comfortable concrete slab, resting before a long morning of bringing joy to the hearts of Alligator readers, and all of a sudden someone snatches you away. Imagine how scared you’d be.
That’s why we’re asking whoever took Van to return him — unharmed, of course. We can assure you none of us will sleep until he’s safely returned.
We use him to deliver the paper, and without him our distributors are forced to carry mounds of papers for miles and miles on foot (OK, not really, but you get the point).
We don’t know if it was a reader with a taste for mischief, a slighted source with a grudge or just a local hoodlum who needs some extra space to haul other stolen goods (or a grow house). All we know is that he’s gone, and we need him back.
If you know anything concerning Van or his whereabouts, please call the Alligator office at 352-376-4446. In the mean time, check our Web site, where we’ll let you know if he is found so you can stop your tireless searches.
