In the past few days, you’ve most certainly been asked the question, “How was your break?”
By now, you’ve answered this question so many times that you probably have a scripted three-sentence answer that you spout to everyone who asks.
In tolerating this cyclical phenomenon for so long, I’ve come to the conclusion that the vast majority of our daily conversations are, in fact, meaningless.
Yes, many of the daily conversations that I have are just that: cyclically meaningless. Every year, it’s the same.
In the beginning of the year the question is always, “How was your summer?” Then it becomes, “How are classes going?” When midterms and finals roll around, it moves to, “How are your exams?” Then, after Thanksgiving/Winter/Spring Break, the inquiry becomes, “How was your break?” Eventually, it all comes full circle at the end of the year with, “What are your summer plans?”
Answering these questions over and over again is a robotic social reflex that must be handled in order to move on to more important matters.
But my annoyance is not just limited to these annually occurring questions; it’s also to everyday small talk.
In middle school, I first became acquainted with the ubiquitous interaction of, “Hi. How are you?” Answer: “Good. How are you?” Response: “Good.”
I distinctly remember going home and asking my mother why people did this — why people conducted this conversational triviality.
First of all, the sheer meaninglessness of the transaction baffled me. Like many people, though, I became complacent and adopted it into my everyday vernacular. Second of all, it is proper grammar to respond with, “I am well.” Each day, I lose mini-amounts of respect for people who answer with “good.”
Ultimately, these customary greetings are society’s way of filling the void of awkward silence that would otherwise pervade.
But what’s so wrong with silence?
What’s so wrong about embracing the mutual understanding that nobody really cares that “I’m well”? I would be just as happy with an obligatory head nod and be done with it.
Think about it, the only reason that awkward silences even exist is because it is socially unacceptable to ask more probing and meaningful questions. There are countless occasions where I find myself craving the opportunity to ask people certain things, but I know that either our level of friendship or the situation would deem them inappropriate.
Nowadays, any conversation past the obligatory “How are you?” is mostly about the other person not being able to contain themselves until you’re done talking. The art of conversation is listening because, let’s be honest, everybody’s favorite topic is himself.
Don’t get me wrong; I understand that this small talk is a necessary aspect of our culture and that it’s never going to change. These interactions are people’s attempt to connect and find common ground. I do it just as much as anyone else.
But just because it’s inevitable doesn’t make it valuable. For me, these relations are tolerated only because I have no other choice — a learned helplessness to the quotidian tedium of life.
So, from here on out, count the amount of times people ask you questions like this. Count the number of times you ask questions like this. Then, count how many times you actually remember the answers. Add it all up, and ask yourself: Is this meaningful?
But anyway, enough about me; how was your break?
Garrett Bruno is a political science sophomore at UF. His column appears on Thursdays.
