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Wednesday, April 23, 2025

Alanis Morissette is smiling somewhere.

In a clear effort to make the next remix of Morissette’s “Irony,” an Alachua County Jail employee is making us shake our heads along the way.

Eugene Morris, a jail employee responsible for watching over the substance abuse program and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, spent his day off from jail musing on booze and beer — well, drinking.

And then, for some reason, coming to his place of employment: the jail.

We’re not one to pass judgments (we’ll leave that up to you), but we do enjoy a good, solid case of irony.

A substance abuse counselor and an Alcoholics Anonymous group leader coming to work on his day off drunk and staggering with beer-battered breath is like a vegetarian being spotted at Sonny’s All-You-Can-Eat-Pulled-Pork night with barbecue sauce dripping from his or her lips.

It’s like seeing Terry Jones in Mecca.

And, luckily, we are one to scold. We don’t have a problem with controlled enjoyment of alcohol, but we do have an issue with a man in a position of setting an example to current and recovering alcoholics not exactly practicing what he preaches.

And we do have a few questions for Morris, primarily why he would come to work on his day off after kicking back a few.

We just hope, for Morris’ sake, he had no black fly in his Chardonnay.

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