In 1996, Sheryl Crow opined on the human condition: “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad. If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?”
According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, compliments and other forms of praise made college students happier than sexual acts or their favorite types of food did.
Granted, the study was conducted at the University of Michigan, and judging from the state of their football program the past few years — the winningest in college football history, mind you — compliments are something that students sporting the maize and blue are definitely in need of.
Hail to the Victors? Pwuh. Not since the Lloyd Carr era. Carr’s last win, by the way? Jan. 1, 2008, over the mighty Gators in the Capitol One Bowl. If anyone needs reminding, Michigan went 3-9 the following year, the school’s worst season in history, and the Florida Gators came home from Miami with a national championship. Sucks to suck, Wolverines.
But yes, contrary to popular belief in Gainesville, there is more to life than football. Michigan is a perfectly good research institution, and one with much prestige. But I can’t help but be alarmed by this report.
Praise is awesome, but better than your favorite food — not just any food, but your absolute all-time favorite, or getting it on? Really? I can’t even imagine that.
I realize that not everyone in college is sexually active, contrary to popular belief. But both sex and food hold intrinsic value. Compliments just promote narcissism and self-centeredness. It’s very rare that people share their favorite food with themselves and only themselves — food has long been a great unifier. When the perpetual first dinner date occurs in a relationship, food’s just the excuse for social interaction. Power lunches in high-powered firms? The business comes first, then the food.
And when it comes to sex, it takes two to tango. For this study, at least.
I took an informal poll of some of my friends gathered in my room. Granted, this is not statistically significant — the sample size was four — but they did not agree with the survey. That raises another issue: Did they really agree but were just too prideful to say so? Did the guys in the room want to appear as alpha males who love to eat Five Guys hamburgers by day and score with the ladies by night, or were they serious about not really caring about being complimented?
I’ve discovered that these three sources of enjoyment — praise, food and sex — are not directly comparable. They all lead to complex highs — different euphorias governed by different boundaries and rules of engagement. When I receive a compliment, the first question is from whom. A compliment from a professor might mean more than a compliment from my mother. Receiving a gold medal at the Olympics is likely to make you a lot happier than receiving a gold medal in a science fair. On the other hand, although with whom still applies to the sexual front — there’s a much more physical response and reaction, one that corresponds to what Maslow would characterize as a need. On the food topic, there’s variables that come into play. I love eating Chipotle, but if I overeat, the happiness I might have encountered might be overtaken with queasiness.
Do whatever makes you happy. It can’t be that bad.
