When Christian singer-songwriter Jennifer Knapp came out as gay in 2010, she was confronted by a pastor on national television for her “sin.” The terrifying prospect of coming out in a faith-based environment made it seem nearly impossible for her to carry on with her music career. Yet, after realizing real faith knows no boundaries, she let go of the mold she so desperately once tried to fit into.
At The Bull, a Gainesville bar and music venue, on March 27, Knapp performed a short set list with a lasting impact. With the feeling of a listening room, Knapp connected to fans who have been listening to her music for over 20 years and strangers who never knew her name until that night.
At the start of her career, Knapp wrote music about her upbringing. She was surrounded by people who repeatedly told her who she should be, rather than her finding that out for herself. She processed her own development under the influence of her church community and, because of that, she didn’t know who she really wanted to be in light of those ideas, she said.
This “soul-searching” train of thought is what ultimately drove now 50-year-old Knapp to pick up the guitar in the first place. In those early days, she thought of music as a way of healing herself, but later, she found it’s an invitation for others to experience growth as well.
“I really care about the human heart and spirit and who we’re all genuinely trying to become,” she said. “There’s nothing, to me, more rewarding than being a part of that conversation and being able to be empathetic.”
Knapp’s 2008 album, “Kansas,” was produced with this growth mindset as inspiration and named for her birth state. It encouraged people to grow up to be the people they wanted to be, she said. Typically, most pieces of Christian music attempt to paint a picture of what a “good Christian” might look like. But Knapp saw it’s not a “one-size-fits-all kind of garment” people can put on to be faithful. It’s the spirit of being generous and offering opportunity to someone else's life, she said.
“Kansas” also gave all kinds of people permission to personally evolve through a journey many of them longed to begin, Knapp said, but hadn’t had the courage to until now.
“The end isn’t about churning out an end-product,” she said. “It’s about the development of the person inside of that [and] using that pool of wisdom to figure out who we are.”
Knapp found this mentality is also reflected among the queer community. As the gender and sexuality spectrum of the LGBTQ+ community evolves, more people have noticed how the typical model of what it means to be queer isn’t a script for how one is supposed to look or act, she said. This crossover of concepts between the queer community and faith community has helped her and her friends understand their own personal spiritual experiences.
To further her spiritual growth and protect her queerness, Knapp established the Inside Out Faith Foundation 13 years ago. Advocating for LGBTQ+ inclusion in faith communities, the foundation allowed her to connect with churches for meaningful performances that altered how people saw faith and queer communities.
As a woman who grew up in a male-dominated church environment, she encountered sexist ideas that damaged the dignity of all genders. The struggles many women experience intersects with queer challenges, Knapp said.
“They’re all linked to the same obligation we have: to figure out who we are as people of dignity,” she said.
While many may think Christianity and queerness are at opposite ends of a socio-political lens, 21-year-old UF health science junior Sophia Scribani said she believes humans are multifaceted. There’s not just one umbrella all queer people fall under, and there’s not only one way to be queer, she said.
Outside of religion, being female and queer can be difficult without proper representation like Knapp’s story. Scribani said she admires Tracy Chapman’s music because Chapman released it while she was a closeted lesbian.
“It’s very hard in the music industry to be anything other than heteronormative,” she said. “You listen to that music now, and you can feel the queer joy in it. It’s really empowering.”
Capturing the feminine experience can be complex, but for Addison Weaver, a 19-year-old UF biochemistry freshman, she looks to musicians like Fiona Apple and PJ Harvey for art that speaks to her personally. Music is a way for female artists to express the frustrations they struggle with in respect to their identities, she said.
For women and queer people, Weaver said she hopes more people will come to acknowledge women’s impactful roles in everyday life.
“The discourse around them has shifted farther away from all those shallow topics to more of what women can contribute to music as an art,” she said.
Contact Autumn Johnstone at ajohnstone@alligator.org. Follow them on X @AutumnJ922
Autumn Johnstone is a freshman journalism/art student and a music reporter for The Avenue. When they're not writing, you can find them enjoying a nice cup of coffee at a nearby café or thrifting for vinyls. You may find their other published work in Strike magazine, Atrium magazine and Musée magazine in New York City.
