Julie Mauerman met her best friend under unusual circumstances.
The 30-year-old crossed paths with her now-best friend McKenzi at their local church congregation. The two of them instantly clicked, she said, with McKenzi mentioning how rare it was to meet someone who was also married without kids.
The catch? Mauerman was actually pregnant at the time.
“I was like, ‘Oh yeah, crazy,’” Mauerman said. “[I had to] figure out how to tell this person I really want to be friends with that, ‘No, I'm pregnant.’”
Making friends in Gainesville as a non-student can be tough, Mauerman said, especially because so many people come and go for college.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 26,000 people moved out of Alachua County in 2020, with 30,000 moving in — meaning the county’s population is constantly cycling out. Among Florida counties with at least 65,000 residents, Alachua County ranks third for the number of residents leaving annually relative to its population.
Still, Mauerman believes it’s worth pushing beyond familiar boundaries for the opportunity to build connections with people who eventually become family. Stepping outside of your comfort zone, attending events and sharing intrusive, complimentary thoughts is the key to unlocking new friendships, she said.
“There's no comfort in the growth zone and no growth in the comfort zone,” Mauerman said.
After leaving Gainesville in 2018, Rigoberto Hernandez moved back to the city in October to be closer to his mom. The 32-year-old said making friends has been a different experience on both occasions.
From 2011 to 2015, Hernandez was in college and made most of his friends through classes. But now, in his 30s, he no longer has that built-in method of meeting new people.
This pushed Hernandez to explore new events and try out different activities. He’s found ecstatic dance events to be especially helpful, he said. The events are sober, judgment-free spaces where participants aim to reach a state of ecstasy through freeform movement and dance.
Hernandez also takes part in events hosted by the Wild Twin Community Folk School, which organizes storytelling gatherings on a farm. The stories are often mytho-poetic, such as the Arabian story “Layla and Majnun” or a Celtic tale about a wolf goddess.
“Find communal hobbies,” he said. “Find hobbies that are social if you don't already have them. If you do already have them, find people doing that. Go out. Find groups of people doing stuff you're interested in doing.”
While Hernandez said he hates the necessary evil of looking at Facebook for events, that's where he’s found most of the organizations he’s a part of.
“Once you find a couple threads in the social network, you can sort of let the Facebook tie off,” he said.
Lindsey Yost was born and raised in Gainesville. The 25-year-old met her best friend, 24-year-old Jordan Dienell, two years ago on the job. Working as first responders, the pair quickly bonded while partnered together at work — Yost as a paramedic and Dienell as an EMT.
The two of them started to meet new people through their church and have built friendships with others their age through worship and small group activities, Yost said.
In regard to establishing lasting relationships, Dienell said she’s found cracking jokes and casually making conversation helpful.
“Don't be afraid to get involved even though you're extremely uncomfortable,” she said. “Odds are, someone else is just as uncomfortable as you are, too … being out of your comfort zone will get you further than you think.”
Contact Annie Wang at awang@alligator.org. Follow her on X @wynwg.
Annie Wang is a metro general assignment reporter and a second-year journalism major. She has previously worked on the university desk as the university administration reporter. She enjoys reading and writing book reviews in her spare time.
