Valentine’s Day is a wonderful time to celebrate love, connection and romance. Whether you’re planning a date night or enjoying some calming alone time, a little preparation can help ensure your holiday goes smoothly.
As a sex educator, here are my top tips to make sure your Valentine’s Day is safe, fun and stress-free.
Prioritize communication
Whether you are going on a date or getting frisky in the bedroom, communication should be central to your experience. Ask your partner what they want, what feels good and what they’d like more of.
This establishes constant enthusiastic consent and helps ensure you are both satisfied with the experience.
Set a safe word and symbol
Most of us know safe words like “red” or “green” to communicate boundaries. Verbal codes are especially useful if you aren’t comfortable speaking up much in the bedroom. Everyone should establish a safe word as well as a safe symbol. A safe symbol can be a tap, squeeze or head shake to signal “stop” or “go” when your mouth is further occupied.
Protection is non-negotiable
This is a big one. If you don’t want a bundle of joy in nine months or a potential sexually transmitted infection, Valentine’s Day is not an opportunity to ditch the contraceptives!
Even if the moment feels right, taking a second to grab a condom, internal condom or dental dam will be worth it in the long run.
No partner, no problem!
V-day is a great opportunity for solo sex. Flying solo is the safest way to have sex, so take yourself out on a date to a local adult store and treat yourself.
Don’t use back pocket condoms
If you’ve stored a condom in a wallet, car or back pocket for a while, it’s time to toss it. Heat and friction weaken latex. Instead, store your condoms in a cool, dry place.
For free condoms, you can go to Planned Parenthood or the UF Student Health Care Center.
Oral sex requires protection, too
Yes, you should be using condoms during oral sex. Throat chlamydia is real, and you don’t want it. So, use condoms on penises and dental dams on vulvas. If you use a condom on a penis for oral sex, there’s a high chance that your teeth are creating micro holes in the condom, so make sure to swap it out before you move on.
Don’t choke your partner
Choking during sex is dangerous. Choking for as little as four seconds can lead to a loss of consciousness. Trust me, no matter what TikTok told you, there is no safe way to hold your hand around someone’s throat. Don’t kill your lover this Valentine’s Day.
Just have fun with it
Don’t feel pressured to have sex on Valentine’s Day. While there’s an opportunity for it, there’s no obligation. If your idea of a romantic holiday is watching a movie and eating chocolates, then that is a wonderful Valentine’s in my book!
Ginger Koehler is a UF theories and politics of sexuality and journalism senior.
