Throughout many lives, change is inevitable, but music is one constant variable where people can learn how to love others and themselves.
Jacob Basil, a 21-year-old music education junior, listened to the Wallows his entire freshman year at UF. Due to what he calls the band’s introspective lyrics and nostalgic nature, Basil said the music enabled him to feel stronger while he navigated adjusting to the college lifestyle and cultivating new relationships.
Today, love songs cover many different themes — such as unrequited love, heartbreak and yearning — because they are all part of the human experience, Basil said.
In the past, Basil has been involved in imperfect romantic relationships, and after they ended, he found songs like “Hard Feelings/Loveless” by Lorde spoke to him through messages of self care like they never had before.
“In order to take care of other people and love them to the highest capacity, we need to do that for ourselves, too,” he said. “Otherwise, it’s not going to work out no matter how hard we try.”
For Basil, music has been the source of many life lessons ever since he started piano lessons when he was 7 years old. Thirteen years later, music still plays an integral role in his life. One of the first songs Basil associated with his current long-distance relationship is “Evergreen” by Yebba, since it alludes to waiting for someone and longing for love to remain evergreen despite hardship.
Music brings feelings to the surface that words alone can't, and makes us encounter messages that we usually wouldn’t come across without it, he said.
Music’s impact on memory
Memory association within music goes deeper than a simple trigger of emotion. José Valentino Ruiz, a 37-year-old UF assistant professor in the school of music, said the brain’s limbic system, which governs emotions, interacts strongly with music. Songs capture the intensity of what someone felt at a certain time, which causes a person to “bookmark” a particularly emotional chapter in their life.
According to Ruiz, music makes the trust factor between two people stronger by sharing emotional experiences, whether it be joy, sorrow, nostalgia or triumph. Music can be connected to memories, bonding moments and shared emotions, Ruiz said.
“I think people walk, unfortunately, with a spirit of fear and walls [built up],” he said. “Music has an ability to soften and bring people at ease — not just on a cognitive level.”
Music as a tool for learning and growth
Andrea Gamez, a 19-year-old UF music education freshman, also attests to music’s power to apply to her life. Gamez associates the love song “Sweet / I Thought You Wanted to Dance” by Tyler, the Creator with the “joyful” first time she went out with her boyfriend, because it played in the car on their way to the beach.
“Every time I listen to that song, I think about everything that went on that day and the experience of us getting together,” she said.
Yet, love songs don’t only apply to romantic relationships. Gamez said she also feels a deep connection to Juan Gabriel’s song “Amor Eterno,” which was written in remembrance of Gabriel’s late mother, because of its emotional depth. The song shows love’s ability to transcend life and death.
“If you’ve never lost anyone, the love that you have for the people here never [leaves you],” she said.
Music encouraged Gamez to be vulnerable with the people she loves, platonically and romantically. Even though actively being vulnerable was terrifying at first, songs like “Sweet / I Thought You Wanted to Dance” reminded her of how rewarding it is to trust the unknown, she said.
Another song close to Gamez’s heart is “Life Will Be” by Cleo Sol, which allowed her to romanticize a difficult time in her and her boyfriend’s lives.
“[It helped us realize] there’s beauty within the struggles in a way that creates a stronger personality,” she said.
As for how music romanticizes life in general, Gamez said it forces her to live in the moment and remain receptive to what she’s passionate about.
Growing up in an immigrant household, Gamez experienced pressure to be successful through more practical pathways, such as the medical field, but music broke that narrative. Gamez is pursuing a career in music education because she wants to dedicate her life to a subject that fuels her passions.
Specific genres of music may also sometimes bring unpleasant feelings to the surface. Songs associated with her past partner became hard to listen to, which caused her to expand her music taste to different genres.
“I live life knowing that every person and every experience that I come across is a lesson and something that shapes me into who I am,” she said. “We’re all reflections of the people that we’ve been around and the experiences that we have lived.”
Music’s capacity to reframe emotional associations with the past
One student who relates to bringing emotions forward is Nicolas Chalise, a 19-year-old UF music theory and composition and data science sophomore, who writes elaborate classical and contemporary pieces inspired by his familial and romantic relationships.
While some memories stick to songs, Chalise said he believes music has the ability to transform negative feelings into positive ones. At one point in his life, he was in an unhealthy relationship where he spent many car rides listening to Katy Perry’s music. Even though her songs were upbeat, he tied her music to the painful aspects. Now, listening to Perry’s music, Chalise feels empowered knowing the music got him through hard times.
Having the perspective of someone who both creates and listens to music, Chalice noticed music taught him to have more grace with himself when writing as well as in his relationships. While writing, he found beauty in making mistakes, he said.
“Oftentimes, I’ll have an idea of what I want to say in my head,” he said. “It comes out differently. It actually comes out better than I had intended, and mirroring that in my relationship, sometimes you don’t plan for things to happen, and it turns out to be better than you had anticipated.”
Contact Autumn Johnstone at ajohnstone@alligator.org. Follow them on X @AutumnJ922.
Autumn Johnstone is a freshman journalism/art student and a music reporter for The Avenue. When they're not writing, you can find them enjoying a nice cup of coffee at a nearby café or thrifting for vinyls. You may find their other published work in Strike magazine, Atrium magazine and Musée magazine in New York City.
