Darts & Laurels: June 13, 2019

It’s the weekend, or at least your definition of it, as you only have class three days a week. It’s road trip time, so you set your coordinates to someplace south of here and burn the dinosaur fuel to get there. But instead of hitting rain, your car comes in contact with something superiorly worse: lovebugs, aka one of the plagues not mentioned in Exodus. You must have killed a hundred a minute driving on the highway. And when you reach your destination you see your damage. “Weird…,” you think to yourself. The bugs’ dead bodies seem to spell something out….

Darts & Laurels

Wednesday, Hong Kong police set off tear gas and shot rubber bullets into a mass of over 200,000 protesters, according to Hong Kong police. A dart goes out to this excessive use of force. A bill that would allow the government to hand over suspects to China sparked the protests. It was supposed to be voted on Wednesday, but protests got in the way. Instead, it will be voted on next week. Hong Kong is supposed to be completely autonomous until 2047, so this bill feels like too much way too soon. Critics of the bill fear it will make it so China can punish political objectors in Hong Kong.

Famed late night talk show host Jon Stewart put a Judiciary subcommittee to shame on Tuesday. But it wasn’t with his usual comedic style. This time there were no jokes, one-liners or sarcasm, only rage. A laurel goes to Stewart for slamming the subcommittee for only five of the 14 members for showing up to the hearing to permanently fund the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund. The fund provides 9/11 first responders with healthcare and would expire next year. The committee unanimously passed the bill Wednesday, now it goes to a vote in the House. It’s safe to say Stewart left his mark.

The Cleveland Cavaliers hiring Lindsay Gottlieb, better known as University of California, Berkeley women’s head coach, to be an assistant coach on John Beilein’s staff has us going, “Yay sports!” This is historic. She is the first women’s college head coach recruited to an NBA staff, according to ESPN. We’re giving a laurel to the Cavs for the hiring decision and Gottlieb for being a trailblazer in the NBA.

Animal Recovery Mission, a Florida-based animal welfare group, released heart-breaking footage of extreme abuse to calves at the Fair Oaks Farm in Fair Oaks, Indiana. This video went viral with many on social media sharing the graphic video of workers punching, throwing and even beating calves with steel rebars. Some online users are calling for a boycott of the Coca-Cola milk company. Just when the shivers from the video left our spine, ARM released another video on Wednesday. This video focused on adult cow abuse on the farm’s milking carousel. Like the previous video, this one is egregious. With the placenta still visible, cows are milked just hours after giving birth. A dart goes to the abuse of these animals and to the individuals who chose to senselessly inflict harm on helpless animals.

The mainstream media has failed the hundreds of Sudanese people who have been injured and the reported 118 people have been killed. A dart goes out not only to the paramilitary forces that opened fire on protesters, beat civilians and sexually assaulted women, but also to the news cycle that has neglected these people. Little media spotlight has been shown on this attack on humanity. Celebrities like Rihanna and George Clooney have called for more support, but it’s sad that celebrities are doing a better job at bringing attention to this than the mainstream media. We hope we have not brainwashed ourselves to think massacres in other less-developed countries are unnewsworthy and normal. Because it’s not.

And lastly, Kylie Jenner. Over the weekend, she threw a Handmaid’s Tale-themed party for her most recent best friend. The A.V. Club’s Dan Neilan said it best, “Nothing says ‘happy birthday’ like a recreation of a dystopian society in which women’s rights have been systemically and violently ripped away.” Yep. Dart-worthy to say the least.

The Alligator Editorial Board includes the Opinions Editor Jackie De Frietas, Editor-in-Chief Mark Stine and managing editors Hannah Beatty and Lindsey Breneman.