So you got rejected. Now what do you do?

Everyone has been in this position: You recently applied for a promotion, a job, a program or an internship. You put your all into the application and you think it’s in the bag. Sadly, a few weeks later, you get an email notifying you that you were not selected for this opportunity. You’ve been rejected. You start to think about what went wrong. Why didn’t this company or school see what you have to offer? You begin to wonder what you could have done differently. Rejection is never fun. It’s a gut-wrenching feeling that leaves you insecure, sad and alone. It’s that time of the year when people are applying for new opportunities. While some will get wonderful news, others will get rejected. How do you deal with this?

First and foremost, learn from your rejections. Oftentimes, when you’re rejected from an opportunity, you feel helpless. You had no say or power in the situation and feel as if there’s nothing you can do. Wrong. There’s always something for you to do. Try emailing the company or school that rejected you and ask for tips on what you can do better next time. I know this can be awkward. You don’t want to be that person who won’t leave an employer or school alone because you got rejected. I’m telling you to be open to criticism and let it build you into a stronger person. Take back some of the power you may feel you have lost when you got that rejection letter or email. In a short, yet respectful, email, ask the employer to identify the key qualifications you were missing in your background. If you’re lucky, recruiters and admission advisors will tell you exactly what you were missing. Chances are if you’re applying for similar positions, you’re most likely missing the same qualifications that caused you to lose out on your last job. Once you know, you can work on improving. Knowledge is power. Let’s use it to our advantage.

Next, it’s important to stop comparing yourself to others. I’m guilty of this. I find myself comparing my success to people who aren't even in the same industry. Thoughts like “Why can’t I get a residency at this hospital” creep into my head. I don’t work or want to work in the medical field. This sounds crazy, right? However, I was comparing my success to others. This is extremely unhealthy. After having a conversation with a close friend, I realized what I was doing wrong and corrected myself. However, it’s easier said than done. Rejection can hurt 10 times worse when you’re comparing yourself to other people. So, when you find yourself doing it, make a conscious effort to stop. Also, social media is not your friend. Think about it. When you compare yourself to others, at that moment, what are you doing? I’ll bet that you’re scrolling through social media. If this is a problem for you, it might be helpful to take a break from social media, especially when you’re dealing with rejection or waiting to hear back from a school or employer. People walk different paths to reach success. The path a friend or colleague takes may be completely different from yours. That’s okay.

Lastly, don’t let rejection define you. I’ve learned rejection isn’t something you can run from. At some point in time, you’re going to get rejected. Somehow you are going to have to find a way to deal with rejection and the feelings that come with it. However, rejection doesn’t mean that you aren’t talented or that you don’t have what it takes to be a part of that organization. It just means that it isn’t your time yet. Don’t start making sweeping generalizations about yourself and your skills when you get rejected. You are not incompetent. Don’t forget who you are and what you bring to the table. Always keep your head up, push through, work on yourself and never give up. You’ll get that congratulatory email one day.

Anede Siffort is a UF journalism senior. Her column normally appears on Fridays.

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash