We’ve all heard of them. We’ve all encountered them. Is it the way they smile, or is it their overall presence? Some people love the passion they bring to the relationship, while others enjoy the thrill of a real-life DIY project. Either way, everyone knows or has met a bad boy. It’s all in the name. Bad boys are known for doing bad things. So why is our society obsessed with them?
From movies like “A Walk to Remember” to “Keith,” it’s clear our society loves the idea of a good girl falling in love with a bad boy, winning him over and living a sort of happily ever after. But why is that the case? Well, we all root for the underdog, and bad boys are known to be underdogs. Due to their reputation, people don’t expect much from them. However, a tiny piece of us wants to see them succeed. Our society wants to see a bad boy reach his full potential and clean up his act. Often, we want this so much that we begin to subconsciously tell ourselves, “I can fix him.”
We all have a nurturing instinct within us. A friend of mine acknowledges the major character flaws in her boyfriend. He’s a liar, a cheater and is jobless, but she genuinely believes she can help him overcome his demons. Sadly, that’s not going to happen. News flash: you can’t fix someone. It’s unreasonable to think you can. People can only change if they want to change. If they say they want to change but their actions don’t match up, stop believing them and move one. If not, it will start to affect you.
You may think a bad boy’s flaws won’t affect you. If you do, you seriously need to stop lying to yourself. There’s a known saying that goes “birds of a feather flock together.” You are the company you keep and if you’re around someone who does wrong unto him or herself and unto others, you will slowly do the same. For this argument, let’s say you are strong in your character, and you know who you are and want you stand for.
Okay, fine. You may not become a bad person. However, at some point, you’re going to have to deal with all of the consequences of your bad boy’s actions. At the end of the day, you’re the one who’s going to wind up getting hurt and suffering the most.
If you’re not looking to get involved with bad boy and you want to know how to avoid them, there are a few ways to spot them. Bad boys do hurtful things. It doesn’t matter if it’s intentional or not. One way to spot them is to see how far they take things. Bad boys tend to be extreme. Extreme meaning that they take one thing and exaggerate it to the max. For example, a friend of mine’s boyfriend is extremely tidy. This sounds great. However, he started cleaning her apartment and if he ever visited her, he expected the place to be the way he left it. If not, an argument would begin. It turns out, his tidiness is actually a control issue. He has to be in control of everything around him. If not, he gets upset. This is a simple example and does not apply to everyone or in every situation. But this illustrates how extremes are not good. Everything should be done in moderation, and bad boys certainly lost that memo. So, if you come across a boy who has questionable character flaws and takes things to the extreme, then you might have a bad boy on your hands.
So, you’re dealing with a bad boy and don’t know what to do? One word: run. Run as fast as you can. Don’t waste your time getting into a relationship or trying to fix him. Chances are he’s not changing anytime soon. There’s nothing more regretful than wasted time. Especially, wasted time on someone who doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes leaving a bad boy is the wakeup call he needs to do better. With that being said, run like the wind. Trust me. You’ll thank me later.
Anede Siffort is a UF journalism senior. Her columns appear on Fridays.
A scene from "10 Things I Hate About You."
