Lately, when spending time with friends — whether we’re lunching, brunching or contemplating whatever the latest mini-dilemma is on our radar — our conversations seem to circle back to the same realization, which typically comes in the form of “Wow … after graduation, it’s really the end,” or, “Not to be all ‘Debbie Downer,’ but this is it, you guys.”
Sometimes, these conclusions are mixed together with a tinge of sarcasm, but a lot of times they’re not. And even though it’s no secret that post-college life is a different animal compared with the routines we’ve become familiar with on campus, I can’t help but sit in silence on the blanket sentiment that the end of college is the end of all things good in our lives.
What happened to being at least a teensy bit excited for the future? Am I allowed to look ahead and truly think that some of the best days and experiences are yet to come without doubting whether or not I’ve lived up every second of my time in college?
It’s true that for many students on the cusp of graduation what lies ahead is unknown. The normal feelings of uncertainty in regard to at least some aspect of the future weigh heavy on anyone getting close to turning the tassel. I feel it,too, and there’s no question seniors who are preparing to graduate in December feel it even more.
Somewhere along the line, though, I developed this tiny, but prominent, voice in the back of my head that reminds me the trivial aspects of college aren’t (and don’t have to be) these be-all, end-all experiences. As far-out as this sounds, it’s almost as if I’ve had an imaginary form of currency for my “absolute best moments ever,” and I subconsciously haven’t wanted to use them all up during college.
I think having this mindset has been positive because it’s allowed me to reflect and be conscious of all the choices I’ve made throughout the past few years — from the activities and opportunities I’ve chosen to commit to, to the meaningful relationships and friendships I’ve invested in. Similarly, self-reminders help me not take to heart situations or stressors that likely won’t matter months from now.
It’s not to say the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had as a student haven’t shaped who I am, because the truth is that my time in college has brought about many turning points that have inspired me and changed me for the better. However, when I hear others compare being done with college to the end of the world as we know it — and I simply don’t feel the same way — I find it’s easy to spiral into a black hole of self-doubt, questioning whether or not I’ve soaked up everything about the past four years.
It seems my generation has gotten sucked into thinking college is our last chance to be “relevant” or to achieve or gain whatever it is we’re looking for, as if we receive our diplomas and immediately get tossed on a rack in the “Must Go Now” aisle at a department store.
It’s true that college is and has been a transformative and exciting time, and what follows is inherently very different — but what happened to being optimistic about the future?
It may be easier said than done, but I think we would do well to remind ourselves that moving on doesn’t have to mean drifting apart or away from all things exciting meaningful or fun. Instead, I think to take a leap into the next phase of our lives or even just thinking about what’s next often brings to light what we really see ourselves pursuing and the people and relationships we feel most connected to — and that’s pretty big.
Darcy Schild is a UF journalism senior. Her column appears on Wednesdays.
