In my almost-four years in college, I’ve learned a lot about friendship — the friends who have withstood the test of time and distance, the best friends, the acquaintances (and maybe even the frenemies) — and what it means to be a reliable friend.
One of the most valuable things I’ve realized, though, is the importance of looking out for each other — even people who we might not consider our past, present or future BFFs.
There seems to be this mindset that being the person or friend to look out for everyone, even if this simply means being the one who always has hand sanitizer, an extra ponytail or eyedrops in their purse, is jokingly, but affectionately, referred to as the “mom” of the group.
The more I think about it, though, maybe we need more “moms” of the friend group (and I don’t just mean that more of us need to stock our backpacks with mints or hair ties). As friends and fellow students, we should have each other’s best interests in mind and should not be afraid to be the ones to speak up if we see someone — even if we don’t know them — who needs help, especially in an unsafe scenario.
I feel lucky to have people in my social circle who I know would have my back in anything from a sticky social situation to a much more serious predicament, but sadly, I know that’s not the case for everyone. In fact, I still sometimes hear other students talk about scenarios like seeing a person alone at a bar or party who did not look completely conscious, and they thought about helping but didn’t because they thought, for some reason, that person would be OK.
I bring this up because last week I joined countless others around the nation in following the testimonies of U.S. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey Ford. I found it impossible to ignore the personal stories and emotions people of all ages, especially fellow students, expressed, not only about the politics of the investigation and hearings but mostly the issue of sexual assault.
Politics aside, the truth is that a scary amount of people of different generations, in campus communities and beyond the college bubble, are impacted by attacks and assaults. I can’t personally speak from the perspective of a survivor, and I can’t say I have all the answers to how we, as college students, can change our culture for the better — but I do believe we should all be serious about looking out for each other on campus and beyond.
I realize that being a friend to everyone — whether it’s lending a listening ear to someone sharing a serious story, asking for advice or helping someone get home safely after a night out so they don’t have to walk home alone — is not a cure-all solution to every societal issue we’re facing and discussing.
What I am saying, however, is that in our current culture — filled with polarized opinions and issues that can be scary but are very real parts of our society — it’s more important than ever to be a good friend, to speak up when we see something questionable and to reach out to the people in our circles, our acquaintances and peers who we think might need anything, whether it’s a hug, a laugh, a listening ear or a vent session (and, in some cases, maybe even a hair tie).
By looking out for each other, even for those we don’t know personally, we may not be changing what’s happening in our nation at large, but it’s definitely not a bad place to start.
Darcy Schild is a UF journalism senior. Her column appears on Wednesdays.
