We are trapped in comment culture

Why do you comment?

Sometimes, it’s to say happy birthday or to let someone know you’re thinking of them. Other times, it’s to voice an opinion in the comments of a classic Facebook rant — or perhaps it’s to tag your friend in the newest Corgi meme which, thanks to the algorithm that understands your love of dogs more than you do, appeared at the top of your feed.

But no matter your intention for replying to a social media post, there’s a bigger reason we have become participants in this so-called culture of commenting. Whether we admit it (or realize it), we know our comments will be seen by others, and we typically want to be portrayed as people who comply with social media norms — socially constructed “rules” about what’s right and wrong when it comes to our digital interactions.

This explains why people sometimes internally fear what could happen if they don’t reply to a comment in a timely manner, or why some feel as though it’s a race to make the first “congratulations” remark on a friend’s achievement post.

This obsession with portraying a seemingly perfect, happy, balanced and inside-joke-filled online identity goes beyond the screen. In fact, it’s rooted in science. According to a study recently published by the journal Psychological Bulletin, college students ages 18 to 25 are more obsessed with perfectionism than previous generations.

In the study, researchers Thomas Curran and Andrew P. Hill analyzed more than 40,000 American, British and Canadian students from the 1980s through 2016 and concluded that levels of multidimensional perfectionism (a category of perfectionism where individuals compare themselves to unattainable standards) have increased over the past three decades, and — surprise, surprise — social media is one of the factors defined as fueling the fire in our pursuit for perfection.

It’s human nature to crave a feeling of belongingness, and when we participate in comment culture, we have the power to control how others perceive us — a social-psychological concept known as engaging in “identity work.” Social media profiles alone allow us to take our digital identities by the horns, but comments offer unique opportunities for us to make statements about ourselves.

Unlike the number of followers or “likes” an individual has on Instagram, for example, a comment is a lens and gives a never-before-seen glimpse into our social circles, our sense of humor and who we are as friends, daughters, sons, roommates and romantic partners.

In the age of perfectionism, a commentless photo might as well be a nonexistent photo, which is why our friends’ and followers’ remarks on our own posts also present their own implications and meanings. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but the thrill of receiving a string of purposely misspelled, oddly capitalized, emoji-clad comments on any given profile picture or Instagram post? Priceless.

Don’t get me wrong — it’s easy to feel trapped in the endless spiral of comment etiquette and norms, such as how long we should wait to reply or when we should “like” a comment instead of type a response. However, it’s important to remember that humans are self-interested, and though we’ve been conditioned to think that someone cares a whole lot about our own identity, the reality is that they’re likely just as — if not more — concerned with how they appear to others.

I’m not saying we should quit commenting cold-turkey, but psychologists have spent three decades studying Millennials and Gen X-ers just to find some less-than-groundbreaking information we probably already knew: Social media is turning us into extreme perfectionists. This tells me it may be time to part from the thrill of waiting for a push notification.

Darcy Schild is a UF journalism junior. Her column appears on Wednesdays.