When was the last time you asked someone how they were doing and really meant it?
Sometimes, being a friend who's there to listen makes the difference.
The permanent funding for more counselors at the Counseling & Wellness Center is a victory. According to the Healthy Minds Network, which does research on adolescent and young adult mental health, without treatment, 30 percent of depressed college students will drop out of school. But with treatment, 6 percent of the dropouts can be averted.
Mental health is part of much larger issues on campus. Students burn themselves out or feel unsupported. The simple yet undeniable lack of time to just be college students can be difficult, too. And when I say, “be college students,” I don’t mean going to parties — I mean being able to hang out with friends or contemplate life without having every last minute filled by studying or extracurricular activities.
I’m probably not the best person to be giving advice on this subject — I’ve committed myself to a lot of things, and I’ve exhausted myself helping organizations that don’t welcome me. But in doing so, I’ve seen a lot of people who say they care but then don’t listen to what I’m saying. It becomes clear they’re not interested in how I’m doing.
It’s easy to push things off or minimize them, thinking you’re the only one who feels this way or that it will just be this semester that’s so difficult. I’ll say, “I’m good, what about you?” in an attempt to avoid the awkwardness that comes with admitting you’re actually not doing well at all.
Step back, take care of yourself. But most importantly, create an environment that’s welcoming to others. Creating a culture of care is hard, but it’s definitely not accomplished through creating a facade of friendliness.
It’s asking, “How are you doing?” and meaning it. It’s not telling someone they’re being negative when they are being honest. It’s unquantifiable.
We are in an environment where we are encouraged to push ourselves to the brink. Feeling stretched thin is the norm, and it’s an unhealthy approach to college. It seems if you’re not tired, you’re not doing college right. People brag about how many times they’ve spent the night in Marston Science Library or how they’re studying for three back-to-back exams, all while immersing themselves in extracurricular activities and opportunities to further their careers. Instead, we should be helping our friends take care of themselves and applauding them for making their self-care a priority.
The CWC is important, but so is taking care of the mental health stigma and knowing when to step back from commitments.
Creating a culture of care starts with us. When it’s not truly genuine it becomes patently obvious. Yes, we’re all college students, and many of us are facing similar difficulties, but it doesn’t hurt to also reach out to people even if it’s just to be a person to vent to.
I do hope with the new CWC resources it won’t take weeks to get an appointment. Students should be able to get the help they need.
It’s disgusting to me that some people in Student Government prioritized their politics over students’ mental health. Counseling should be something available to all students, but we also have to do our part to help our fellow students to not be overwhelmed. It can feel like we have no influence over anything because we’re students, but we can do our part. Ultimately, it starts with care and concern for each other. Be ready to listen to someone who’s having a rough week, semester or year.
Nicole Dan is a UF political science and journalism senior. Her column appears on Mondays.
