We are living in a time of anger. We’re angry at the way the world looks right now. We are angry at each other for making it this way. We all have different opinions about why the world is the way it is, and we have even more opinions about how to fix it.
Living in harmony with other people is a difficult thing to achieve, even though it seems so wonderful. We are obviously nowhere near this right now, and in the meantime, we have to learn how to live in a world where we disagree. Am I saying we should settle and adopt others’ beliefs just so we can get along better? Absolutely not. That would do the opposite of help. However, learning to properly disagree is the first step in achieving this harmony. Even if human nature prevents us from ultimately achieving harmony, learning to disagree is the first step to understanding each other a little better.
Truthfully, I don’t believe every person with destructive ideas knows how destructive they are. I think many people who hold these ideas genuinely think their opinions are correct and that implementing laws according to them would benefit our society. However, this does not detract from the fact the ideas are destructive. Getting angry and attacking others when you disagree with these destructive thoughts is not a good tactic for helping them see your side of the argument. Yelling and accusing will only make one more attached to their view. It will only make one want to protect themself and their ideas more fiercely, ultimately pulling one even farther away from where you think they should be going. When people are attacked, they shut down or fight back. Either of these will result in a more severe attachment to their ideals and a more intense hatred of what the attacker presents.
Instead, we should try to understand. I know this can be extremely difficult, especially since there are a lot of wildly unreasonable people out there. I would never say everyone is reasonable, as much as I wish everyone was. Also, I am not suggesting you excuse intolerance or accept pure ignorance as an excuse for another’s opinions. However, you will never know if intolerance or ignorance is the reason behind said opinions if you do not at least attempt to understand why that person feels that way. If you end up realizing that person has no logical thought process to back up their belief, that’s fine. At least you tried to understand. This is where you can step in and explain your own ideas. The better job you do, the more likely you are to get through to that person.
On the flipside, instead of getting angry when someone asks you to explain your own views or defend your thoughts, simply do just what that someone is asking — explain yourself, use evidence, support your opinions thoroughly and logically.
Clearly, if you hold a particular opinion, you think you’re right. Tell that person why you think you’re right. Tell them how you reached this conclusion. Often, the process of explaining yourself to another person can be the place where you realize you’re wrong. It is perfectly OK to be wrong, but it is not OK to continue being wrong once you know you are.
What’s more, explaining yourself to another person can actually make them realize they agree with you. This level of reasoning, however, is far less likely to happen in the middle of an accusatory screaming match or a passive-aggressive Facebook comment war. If you feel passionately about your opinions— which you should— being reasonable in your arguments is the best way to both protect them and to help others understand you.
Getting angry is an unreasonable person’s only defense. Don’t buckle just to avoid a fight, but don’t stoop to the level of absurdity people go to when succumbing to anger. You have better, more effective options. Use those instead.
Taylor Cavaliere is a UF journalism and psychology junior. Her column appears on Mondays.
