I don’t mean to say the sayings included in this article are things that female, nonbinary or trans people have never said, but I think it’s important to identify the condescending language that men use to establish masculinity. “Masculine” and “feminine” are two words that have become problematic in the gender spectrum, but I’ll tackle that issue in another 600 words or so. For now, I’ll discuss the type of behavior that makes some cisgender, heterosexual men feel stronger in this incredibly heteronormative world. Behold: mansplaining.
I say “some” with the purpose of not hurting my male friends’ feelings; I know you don’t do this to be condescending. In fact, I have at times prefaced a condescending statement with, “Not to be condescending, but …” From my own research and basic interaction with people, this language typically comes from cisgender, heterosexual males, regardless of how good, pure or well-intentioned they are in conversing with other people in their lives. Moving on.
Different types of mansplaining are used in varying situations. Sometimes, a male may say something about your life as a female, nonbinary or trans person that they don’t know anything about. For instance, a man may tell you that he thinks women actually like being cat-called.
“I bet if your favorite celebrity cat-called you, you would like it because everyone likes attention.” Mr. Man, in this case, clearly knows more than I, the owner of these breasts and this vagina. These are only some of the body parts that suit me for objectification — ahem — cat-calling at any time of day in the streets.
Also, sometimes a large group of cisgender, heterosexual men simply believe that females who want to abort a fetus are wrong, so they do something official and legal about it. They do this even though they will never suffer from the direct financial, physical, psychological or emotional repercussions of a medical procedure completed entirely outside of their own bodies. I’m using “sometimes” loosely, of course.
Wait, I’m being insensitive, aren’t I? Sometimes, mansplaining just depends on which sense of masculinity is being threatened at any given moment.
Have you ever discussed music with or near a cisgender, heterosexual man? Like, a cisgender, heterosexual man who really knows music? You’ll know he knows music because he knows he knows music, and he wants to let it be known that he knows music. Some phrases you may hear from him include (with a sarcastic tone), “You don’t know who (insert artist) is?,” when you don’t know of a particular artist. There is also the possible, “There’s so much better (insert genre) music out there!,” after you play a certain genre of music they know a lot better than you, obviously. Men could argue this is a technique to flirt or spark a conversation, or maybe they just really needed to let you know in an affirmative tone of voice that … they know.
I have been the main subject in all of these situations, yet how do I, a cisgender, heterosexual female, know that these cisgender, heterosexual males are saying these things and patronizing me? How do I know the mind of a man if I am not a man myself?
My generation, like many before me, grew up with phrases such as “boys will be boys,” associations of blue and pink, designated toy sections, the definition of “strong,” identification through hair length and assigned formal wear at school events. “Strength” meant muscles, deep voices and towering height. We refer to items fabricated as “man-made,” and humans altogether are referred to as “mankind” even though the fetuses which create humans are things that males decide we can’t abort, yet are entirely carried in a female’s body. This language and heteronormative agenda empowers the male gender, and it threatens the gender spectrum with its confident language backed by a history of learned dominance.
But what do I know?
Karla Arboleda is a journalism and international studies senior. Her column appears on Tuesdays.
