Take a walk in their shoes, and spread the love

Anyone who has read John Green’s “The Fault in Our Stars” is familiar with the quote, “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you.” While I’d argue that this quote is accurate in the context of this novel, it isn’t as accurate in the grand scheme of things. In this world, you don’t get a say if you get hurt, and you often don’t have a say in who (or what) hurts you either.

I don’t want to talk about the recent political atmosphere in this country. I’ve spent hours discussing it at length over the last several months. I will never diminish the importance of political activism, and I will never say we shouldn’t talk about it. But today, I’m going to take a little detour and talk about the collateral rather than the main idea.

I don’t know when it became okay to ignore pain. I don’t know when it became okay to make decisions and form opinions considering only ourselves while ignoring the voices of others who may be different from us. I brought up the quote earlier because I feel some people are under the impression that being oppressed or passed over is a choice. I am not talking about a division along party lines (although at this point, it seems like almost everything has to do with that). I am talking about humanity. I am talking about being a person with a beating heart. I am talking about empathy.

Not everyone in the world goes through the same turmoil as everyone else. However, the fact that you personally cannot identify with another person’s problem should not diminish that problem.

It isn’t easy to step into another person’s shoes. If you’ve never experienced something, it can be hard to take someone else’s word for it. But the fact that it’s “hard” is not an excuse. You don’t have to literally step into his or her shoes to have some sense of understanding. You can be empathetic without having to actually experience something. It’s not the job of the unoppressed to tell the oppressed what is acceptable or unacceptable to feel.

Marginalized or oppressed people don’t choose to be oppressed. If you don’t consider yourself to be a part of these categories, I am happy for you. I really am. I am not saying you need to join these categories to have the right to hold an opinion or make a statement. I am saying that you cannot tell someone they have no right to be upset about something you have personally never experienced.

I have seen far too many people speaking negatively about men, women, members of the LGBTQ+ community, immigrants, members of every religion and members of every ethnicity. I have seen people belittle those who suffer from mental illness. I have seen people belittle those living in poverty. Some groups are attacked more than others, but I have seen every group I can think of attacked. Dear readers, enough is enough.

Say what you want about our greater purpose for being on this planet, but I refuse to entertain the idea that we were put here to spread hate. Love is our best asset, and at times, it is all we have. If you don’t understand why someone is upset, ask them why, and listen when they talk. We each have only had the experiences of one person, but being human means we are able to understand more than just ourselves. You have no right to say another person’s feelings are not justified, just as no one has the right to say your own feelings are not justified. Spread the love this week, Gators. We sure could use it.

Taylor Cavaliere is a UF journalism and psychology sophomore. Her column appears on Mondays.