This weekend, I had the pleasure to find that the band The Last Shadow Puppets covered a Leonard Cohen song titled “Is This What You Wanted.” This song talks about a breakup and how the separation has affected one of the two people. The part that immediately resonated with me was the verse that goes: “You defied your solitude/I came through alone.”
At this young age in my life, I have been able to appreciate the definition of solitude and how most of us experience it in a world filled with so many people. Solitude is bliss, some say. But what does it really mean? After so many years filled with changes and challenges, I think I am able to cope with the positive side of it.
Once we start to gain control, consciousness and awareness of our bodies, actions and selves, life begins to seem a bit confusing to most of us. To grow up, go to prom, find a date, get a college degree, buy a car, build a family, be happy and be successful are some of the goals we are given by our family members, teachers, mentors and guides. The reality is that these are just suggestions, because in the real world, there isn’t a working formula. This now becomes even more terrifying. How am I going to meet people who like the things I do? How am I going to find a job I love? Where is my right place? How will I know I have arrived?
Eventually, we decide to embrace an experimentation period where we try to find our herds, values, styles and personalities. During this process, which can take years or even a lifetime, we encounter victories and failures. We meet people we love and they
break our hearts. We make friends and then we don’t talk anymore. We choose our majors and after a couple of semesters, we drop off. Consequently, we begin
to learn and know ourselves, either from those
periods filled with crisis, solitude and despair or from our achievements, triumphs and rewards.
For all of us out there struggling and going through periods when we feel like loneliness is our fate, do not worry. Trust the process, and let time do its magic. Use this alone time to work on you and accomplish things you think will make you improve as a human being. Take some time and reflect on how you want to see yourself a year from now, and trace the plan of how you are going to get there.
For example, if you are lacking in confidence, challenge yourself to embrace your sense of style and defy the rules of “pretty.” Solitude is bliss if you appreciate the opportunity to get to know yourself and become empowered by it.
I would like to end this week’s column by sending my condolences to the friends, family and relatives of Abigail J. Dougherty. May all the light in the universe guide her young spirit and may this tragic event raise awareness in our society of the importance of taking care of one another.
Andrea Taboada is a UF microbiology senior. Her column appears on Wednesdays.
