Thanksgiving always manages to shift your perspective, creating a different effect with each visit. It can make you nostalgic, anxious or maybe just send you straight into that existential tailspin the Alligator detailed in last week’s editorial. It’s a brief reprieve from a tedious collegiate schedule and a reality check on life in the Gainesville bubble. It’s a week of compromise: with your parents promising not to pry too much about post-graduation plans and you tolerating the pageantry of the Christmas-card photo shoot in return. Despite this being my last Thanksgiving Break as an undergraduate, I experienced a variety of firsts, proving that while I grow and change, so does my home.
I felt the first twinges of senioritis over this past week as I shrugged off my papers, presentations and thesis drafts in favor of binge-watching “Westworld” and acting as my little sister’s personal chauffeur. I couldn’t bear the thought of returning to my designated corner at Pascal’s, opening those neglected word documents and stringing together half-finished ideas. It makes sense, as practically everyone in my life responded to each one of my graduate school acceptances with the question, “Does this mean you can slack off now?” Unsurprisingly, the answer was and still is “no.” But how could that thought not cross your mind? With a job or grad school so close on the horizon, it’s far too easy to yearn for a break and brush off the high-functioning anxiety that serves as your main motivation. Yet, we still have another semester left. Don’t jump ship just yet.
Additionally, this break made me realize not everyone loves school with as much fervor as the students at this university. And that’s not meant to be some sort of thinly veiled humble brag — really. With one of my siblings returning home for Thanksgiving in the midst of his less-than-stellar first semester of college, I came to realize my experience at UF isn’t necessarily the norm. Hearing my brother talk about missing South Florida (of all places) not only broke my heart, but it also put into perspective how lucky I am to attend this school and have such a positive college experience. Sometimes it’s easy to forget your experience is not universal.
For the first time I noticed how much people talk about the future while home for the holidays. This doesn’t just refer to that carefully planned speech about your postgrad plans you recite to every inquiring relative or your drunk uncle’s comments on the future of the country’s political climate. All week, there were constant projections of what the future may bring: where I’ll be living in a year’s time, what careers my siblings will pursue and what my parents will do to fill their empty nest. Sure, we reminisced on some family memories, but our minds were increasingly turned toward the unknown. It’s a weird time for all of us, as my parents acclimate to life without young children and us kids reckon with our emerging adulthood, and it’s apparent that these transitions are dominating our thoughts.
In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, there was a multitude of articles and conversations circling around the family-related anxiety that so often accompanies the holidays. We think we know exactly how our family works and that we can anticipate their actions better than anyone else, yet they continually surprise us. Heading home is almost always a jarring experience because, despite our knowledge that everything changes, our family remains a static image in our minds. But just like always, they love to prove us wrong.
Marisa Papenfuss is a UF English senior. Her column appears on Tuesdays.
