It’s almost time for a break! This is exciting. Time to eat your body weight in stuffing, watch some football and then fall asleep on the floor at 6 p.m. Thanksgiving is also a time for family, which excites most people I talk to. However, this year more than any other, I’ve heard people sigh with dread when I bring up Thanksgiving. I ask why they feel this way, and it has been the same answer every time.
“I have to deal with (insert relative here) who voted for/supports (insert presidential candidate here) and won’t stop gloating/whining about the outcome of the election.”
If we’re being honest, the holidays are always kind of a weird time. You may end up staying somewhere you don’t live or having people at your house who don’t live there. You eat a lot, and sometimes you eat foods you aren’t used to. Too much food (and/or drink) can make you sleepy and confused. I get it. However, this isn’t an excuse to behave inappropriately. I don’t think that arguing is inappropriate behavior, by the way. I’m talking about the cold shoulder. I’m talking about ignoring each other, dancing around the issue or talking behind each others’ backs about how upset you are.
Here’s the deal: I know there are a great many people dissatisfied with the election results. Even some of those who voted for the winning candidate are not that happy about it. I don’t know why you would have voted that way if this is the case, but I digress. I am in no way saying you cannot be happy if you’re happy or upset if you’re upset. Please have feelings. This is how we make a difference in the world. Widespread complacency is worse than constant arguing. I stand by this statement. Even when I have to log off Facebook because I find myself starting to growl at the computer, I stand by this statement.
I am not asking you to stop caring. I am asking you to also care about those you love. Tell your relatives what you think. Listen to them explain their thoughts. If you think a debate is a good solution, go for it. If you think you’ve reached an impasse, let it be. Please don’t let it ruin your holiday.
There is work to be done. I truly don’t believe we’re doomed. I believe our country is capable of incredible things because of the sheer amount of drive and determination our citizens exhibit. When a family member inevitably says something about this topic, be thankful. At least they care. At least they are thinking, in some facet, about important issues. You can be the bigger person, and this doesn’t mean you should let them walk all over you. This means you should display your views in a mature, kind manner with emphasis on education rather than humiliation or bickering for the sake of bickering. If they don’t want to hear it, that’s fine. There comes a point in which you’ve done what you can.
I know this isn’t easy. I know sometimes people would rather just roll their eyes and stomp off than work things out. I know it can be especially hard around family. You don’t owe your family (or anyone) respect if they don’t respect you, but you owe yourself peace of mind. You owe yourself the ability to enjoy the holiday season without walking on eggshells or biting your tongue. Be thankful for the ability to debate these issues and the ability to have differing points of view. Be thankful for your autonomy. Have faith that things will be OK, and don’t give up the fight. Stand up for your beliefs, but allow yourself to enjoy the crispy bits on the green bean casserole, too.
Taylor Cavaliere is a UF psychology and journalism sophomore. Her column appears on Mondays.
