Goodbyes have never been my strong suit.
I moved around a lot as a kid, so maybe I’ve just grown up dreading and knowing well the sinking feeling in your stomach when you have to leave something you love. Saying goodbye implies loss, sadness, heartbreak.
As I look back on my time here through the cloudy windows of this dilapidated building, I can feel that pit in my stomach growing larger as the time approaches for me to turn toward the future and away from this little home our staff has built over the last few months.
Because truly, the staff does build the home. This building has been indisputably influential on generation after generation of Alligator alumni, and I can now count myself among those lucky ranks. But the most important part of any home is the family that inhabits it.
And maybe we are all a little bit heartbroken as we leave this place and turn toward our futures, be them graduation, other endeavors or further semesters at this newspaper. But we all have that sense of family to cling to.
I’ll never forget the nights I could have sworn my life was falling apart around me, and the Karma Cream cupcake hand-delivered from a coworker lifted my spirits enough to get me through the night. I’ll never forget the pride I felt for every writer who, after sleepless nights and unending hard work, pulled together an amazing story. I’ll never forget the laughs, the tears, the heartfelt thank-yous or the incredible satisfaction that comes from knowing, come hell or high water, we’re going to get this paper out if it kills us.
Journalism is hard. This job has been hard. This semester has been hard. Between an in-depth five-part series on sexual assault, tumultuous SG elections, the impending doom of graduation and whatever lies beyond it and the terrifying task of leading a newspaper and its staff to a new location, it’s been a wild ride to say the least.
But I have had the most spectacular team to do it all with, and that I wouldn’t change for the world.
No one could have prepared me for the challenges ahead or the tough decisions I’d have to make. No one could have prepared me for the late nights, the constant stress, the toll that food delivery has taken on my bank account — or the incredible, inspiring friends I’ve made along the way.
Because this job has been hard, but it has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever been a part of.
To the current Alligator staff: Know that I am eternally grateful to and proud of each and every one of you, and I will miss you all with my whole heart.
I’ll miss this old building, too. 1105 W. University Ave. has been a second home for anyone who has set foot here, and the pitter-patter of rat paws hasn’t quite drowned out the sounds of laughter and memories contained in these old, moldy walls.
But the Alligator is moving forward, and so am I. As scary as the future is, I know that I will carry the friendships, lessons and memories I’ve made here with me for the rest of my life.
And as I look back on the hard nights and the great ones, I can smile as I turn toward that scary future alongside all the people who have made the past something worth missing.
Mary Grace Henley is the Alligator’s managing print editor and a graduating UF English senior.
