A professor once told me that young men and women are biologically inclined to stay awake late into the night because we’re young, fertile and it’s our biological imperative to attempt to reproduce. It only makes sense that we would stay awake into the wee hours for reasons we can’t fully comprehend.
As a caveat, it must be noted that this was an English professor, a field that does not require being an expert on teenage hormones and circadian rhythms. I myself am a political science major, so I never really bothered to thoroughly fact-check this information. But on a surface-level reading, it certainly checks out; There’s a reason why Midtown is one of the most popular nighttime spots for UF students.
While Midtown isn’t exactly my scene — you’re much more likely to find me at the Barcade — I am well versed in staying up to ungodly hours. When I was a kid, this meant sitting next to my TV to catch "Adult Swim" while my parents were sleeping. As an adult, this means cycling through endless tabs on my iPhone and/or computer, reading up on an artist’s biography with one eye and perusing clickbait Vice articles with the other.
And I’m not the only one. As noted on Brown University’s page on common health issues experienced by college students, we are "among the most sleep-deprived people in the country." The page cites a 2001 study, noting that "only 11percent of college students have good sleep quality."
Given that the study was published in 2001, prior to the rise of smartphones, I’d wager to guess that those numbers are even more abysmal now. Why, this very column was inspired by my failure to fall asleep until 5 a.m. Monday, as I was too "busy" searching for upcoming concerts to treat my body with the basic dignity it deserves.
In his thorough article, "Disruptions: For a Restful Night, Make Your Smartphone Sleep on the Couch," Nick Bilton of The New York Times compiles no less than three studies that all reach the same conclusion: Cell phones are detrimental to good sleeping habits. In his piece, Bilton interviews David M. Claman and Orfeu M. Buxton, who both draw a direct correlation between individuals who feel restless before going to sleep and people who use their phones in bed.
As grateful as I am for the conveniences provided by my phone, I have much trepidation about everything that comes with it. I’m sure there will be many more editorials about the problems that technology hath wrought, but this particular conundrum has a relatively simple fix: Leave your phone in your living room. The second I have more than $12.36 in my bank account, I’m running out to buy the first traditional alarm clock I can find. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the unruly tone of two bells ringing to the annoying sound of whatever "Opening" or "By The Seaside" is supposed to be.
Zach Schlein is a UF political science senior and the Alligator opinions editor.
