Welcome back for the Fall semester, Gators! I hope that everyone had a good first week back and is re-acclimating to the humidity, the homework and The Gator Nation.
And to you freshmen, I hope you’re getting used to hooking up on squeaky, extra-long twin beds and masturbating in public showers — even if that’s something you said you would never do.
You see, college has a weird way of getting you to do things you never thought you would — having a one-night-stand, failing a class or, if you’re like me, getting a significant other.
So let me share some selfish news with you: I got a boyfriend this summer. He’s an amazingly wonderful person who was incredibly patient with me as I debated whether I was ready to trade hooking up for monogamy.
You see, I was comfortable hooking up. It was fun. It’s what I knew and what I was familiar with. It was, cheesy as it sounds, part of who I was.
So to have something, or someone, come in and shake that up was a big surprise. I spoke to a past hookup about it, sharing my worries for what this meant for who I was — OK, mostly for what this meant for who I am as a sex columnist — and he laughed at me and called me silly.
But to me it wasn’t silly. As someone who had never been in a relationship before, I didn’t know what to do.
That was new territory for me.
Here I was in my 20s experiencing an identity crisis because I got a boyfriend. And no one ever tells you that’s going to happen.
When you go to college, you expect your crises to be about different things. You miss home. You get your first "C." You don’t know what to major in. You don’t feel like you belong. You have trouble making friends.
Those things may definitely happen, but you also might face an identity crisis regarding things that your staffers didn’t cover at Preview.
When we talk about acclimating to college, these four years — maybe five; I see you extra-lappers — we leave out an important subject.
So consider this a reassuring message that it’s OK to question who you are as a sexual person.
Maybe that means coming to terms with a committed relationship you thought you would never be in. Maybe you get to college and casually hook up for the first time and realize that you love it, or you try it once and realize it’s not for you.
In between worrying about whether you should join Student Government or Greek life, it’s OK to worry about dating, having sex and what this all means to you. It’s not trivial. Discovering what you want sexually is just as important as discovering what you want to major in.
College is all about self-discovery. And don’t think that this search for your identity stops when you’re a freshman. It’s an ongoing process, so don’t be surprised if who you are and what you like changes. You might be only interested in hooking up once you arrive, but by your third year you may want something more serious.
Maybe, while you’re missing your parents and your hometown, you’ll also be missing a long distance SO Or instead, you might have to completely revamp your identity as a single college co-ed who just broke up with your long-term high school partner.
Or maybe, when you’re questioning what you want to do for the rest of your life, you’ll also be questioning your sexuality because you thought you only liked guys, but Jen in chemistry is really cute.
It’s okay to not be sure what you want! Your advisers will tell you that it’s OK to take introductory classes your first semester. It’s OK to explore different majors and see which one interests you. This goes for sexuality, too.
Don’t let classes, intramurals, extracurriculars be the only things that you experiment with during your college career. Try on new sexual identities. Find out what you like and what you want, and be open to those preferences changing even if you swore you would never put a sock on your dorm door.
Robyn Smith is a UF journalism senior. Her column appears on Fridays.
