There’s a lot that makes up a “college experience.”
For some, it’s all about kegs and costume parties. For others, it’s all-nighters and brave, new heights of caffeine consumption.
But I’d argue that a quintessential college experience is something overlooked by most — working with friends.
I don’t mean working on a group project or an arts-and-crafts project, although some elements do apply. The unexpected lesson we encounter in college is learning to draw the line between friends and co-workers.
When someone hurts you, your friends will be there to back you up 100 percent of the time. You are always the victim; your version of the story is canon.
That is toxic in a professional environment.
Co-workers and leadership exist to propel you forward. They’re the ones who can be relied on to give you blunt, constructive criticism.
In college, and at a place like the Alligator, that line is blurry or even invisible. We love and support each other, but we also need to work every single day to do the best job we can.
That means honesty, and that means misconstrued comments and hurt feelings, because working with friends is hard. It’s so hard.
Telling your best friends that something they did doesn’t measure up sucks. It takes practice to do it without crushing both of you. The path to doing it well is lined with mistakes.
Considering what’s best for the ultimate goal and what’s best for the mental health of a single person is like walking on eggshells.
We feel like little kids in borrowed clothes, clomping around clownishly in Daddy’s much-too-big shoes, with Mommy’s lipstick smeared hopefully on our faces.
Adulthood is like that all the time, I hear.
And in the moments we feel the unbalanced weight of the boat-sized shoes and the smeared grease of the lipstick on our cheeks, we say things without tact. We express our frustration in the most primal of ways. We lash out.
Forgive us, friends. But take what we have to say with the best intentions: We support you and believe your future is bright.
The Alligator has taught me many things besides how to walk this line — how to cover breaking news, how to be sensitive to victims, how to be a better reporter and writer. With every step, from blogger to editor-in-chief, I learned more.
The best friends and mentors I’ve ever met have been in this dingy, smelly, former frat house with the worst Wi-Fi ever.
They’ve also been my greatest enemies during one of the most vulnerable times in my life.
My friends were there to lift me up when I did well and put me back on the right path when I missed the mark.
They also cut me down when I thought I could do no wrong.
Looking back, the three years I’ve spent at the Alligator have been tumultuous to say the least. Big stories, damaged friendships and competing with the people you love for jobs.
But I wouldn’t trade a moment of it. Not even for the cushy 6-figure engineering salary our parents all (not-so-secretly) wish we were earning.
Alex Harris is a graduating UF journalism senior. She is the managing online editor of the Alligator and previously editor-in-chief, university editor and staff writer.
[A version of this story ran on page 7 on 4/22/2015]
