It’s unsettling to wake up to a red Rorschach test on your sheets. Why am I covered in blood? Who did I stab last night? Why do I want to cry and eat macaroni and cheese?
Congrats, you’re not pregnant! Enjoy your next few days of menstruation, something that is still somehow not understood by a majority of people.
Society seems to have developed this huge taboo about monthly periods. They’re gross; I don’t want to hear about them; call me in a few days when you’re done. I once was hooking up with a guy who had a pretty standard response to my monthly gift.
He texted me one night that, “We should f**k,” to which I responded, “Negative to that. I’m on my period. #notpregnant.” I don’t really like period sex, so I wasn’t about it.
His response was, “That sounds disgusting and awful.”
Dude. I literally have blood gushing out of my vagina, and you want to tell me what’s disgusting and awful? Sorry that the womb, the foundation of all human life, is disgusting to you. Now go apologize to your mother for your negative attitude.
He followed up a few days later to ask, “When will you no longer be out of commission?” “Out of commission” — kind of like a racehorse that you put down because of a broken leg.
Except there’s nothing wrong with someone having a period. In fact, it would be much more worrisome if I didn’t get my period. Assuming your cycle is normal, they can show you’re healthy and regular, and most importantly, not pregnant.
There is a whole stigma against menstruation. People who don’t have periods are grossed out by the concept of them, and people who do have periods feel uncomfortable talking about it — seriously, raise your hand if you’ve felt awkward buying tampons.
It doesn’t help that we, as a society, perpetuate these ridiculous myths about periods and shame people for a normal bodily function.
I have a friend who told me that a guy once asked, “Are you sure you can go into the ocean, because of, ya know, sharks?”
That’s not how it works. To dispel a few myths: Yes, you can go swimming on your period; yes, you can get pregnant on your period; no, we don’t know exactly when it will end — seriously, do you think we have an app for this?
Health education has really failed us all if you’re still in your 20s and don’t know the basic facts about menstruation.
Now, I don’t have enough space to teach you everything you should know. But if you have a uterus, are hooking up with someone with a uterus, interact with people with uteri — read: everyone — do a quick Internet search to educate yourself, even if you just look up the basic biological facts.
Here are some starters: Periods come about every four weeks, although this can vary from person to person. The length also varies from person to person, although you can typically expect it to last somewhere about three to seven days.
Some people get really bad cramps. Some people crave salty or sweet food. Some people get more emotional. If you’re catching a theme here, it’s that everybody reacts differently, and there’s no one-size-fits-all rule for menstruation.
On that same note, everybody has a different opinion on period sex, too. If you don’t want to have sex for a few days, that’s cool, take a break — just be sure it’s because you don’t want to, not because you’re afraid of grossing out your partner. If you’re worried about it being messy, lay down a towel or use it as an excuse to hook up in the shower.
The bottom line is I’m tired of feeling awkward for talking about my period. I don’t want it to be an uncomfortable thing — for myself or anyone — to say, “Heads up, I’m on my period.”
If you’re mature enough to be having sex, you need to be mature enough to handle everything that comes with it — that weird wet spot in the bed post-coitus, the awkward “farting” noise your skin makes when it rubs together, and yes, menstruation.
Don’t be grossed out or made uncomfortable by periods. They’re natural, healthy and nothing to be embarrassed about.
It’s OK to talk about them, it’s OK to buy tampons, it’s OK to bone during Shark Week. And that’s the truth, period.
Robyn Smith is a UF journalism junior. Her column appears on Fridays.
[A version of this story ran on page 7 on 3/26/2015 under the headline “It's time for some menstruation maturation”]
