Spring Break couldn’t have come at a better time. We’re burned out, overworked and in need of a break from drinking this much coffee all the time.
We’re looking forward to a Spring Break all of us students deserve — late nights out, late mornings in, drinks on the beach and who knows what else. While it may not qualify as “just what the doctor ordered,” we’re tempted to contradict what little we know about medicine in favor of an entire week spent alternating between relaxing laziness and hedonistic abandon.
With that, here’s an extra-special edition of thank-god-it’s-finally-here…
Darts and Laurels
Big news this week: The Federal Communications Commission finally made a decision in its long-awaited ruling on net neutrality. Should the Internet be regulated as a public utility, or come under the control and discretion of giant telecom companies? Advocates on both sides of the issue waited eagerly for the decision.
Thursday, the FCC ruled in favor of net neutrality. Because the Internet is, without exaggeration, the most powerful invention since the printing press, we feel it’s important to keep it out of the hands of those whose self-interested motives would make it worse for the rest of us. Here’s a LAUREL to the FCC for choosing to protect the integrity of the Internet.
We had a special visitor this week. Multi-million dollar Renaissance man and Riff Raff impersonator James Franco came to speak Wednesday night — did anybody else notice he arrived right before we all become... Spring Breakers? Get it? No? OK.
While we relished the opportunity to have the celebrated actor and author come speak at UF, we can’t help but feel embarrassed by the low-quality questions students asked him. So we’re giving a FLART to the whole situation — LAUREL to Franco, DART to the question askers. Come on, y’all.
For the whole context on this next one, take a glance at page seven. Yeah, that’s a letter from UF alumnus Sen. Marco Rubio, who plans to really ramp up the fight against sexual assault on college campuses. He’s proposing legislation which would create a standard apparatus to deal with sexual assaults for universities nationwide. Among other things, these would require universities to post statistics on sexual assault in their area from the previous year and would ban preferential treatment to student subgroups — i.e. star athletes.
We’re not always down with Rubio’s politics, but we’re definitely supportive of this. Even though it’s a blatant bid to get support for a presidential run, we’re going to give a LAUREL to Rubio.
We’d also like to give a LAUREL to Access Party: What y’all did was amazing and we’re looking forward to all the great things you’ll bring.
That’s all, folks. Have a fun and, by God, SAFE Spring Break.
[A version of this story ran on page 6 on 2/27/2015]
