You are preparing for a job interview. You spot a good-looking guy at the bar. You are about to make a presentation in class. Each scenario puts you on the spot. You have 90 seconds to create a good first impression. So, how do you make yourself likeable in these first crucial moments?
Nicholas Boothman, author of “How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less,” identifies the first few seconds of contact as the “greeting,” which can be refined with practice. There are five parts to a greeting: Open, Eye, Beam, Hi! and Lean.
First, “Open” describes your manner and body language: Have a positive attitude (like you want to be there), and turn your body toward the person. Keep your hands open and relaxed. Second, “Eye,” or eye contact, is critical: Look at the person directly in the eye and really look at the individual with sincerity and interest. Third, “Beam,” as in smile. You will relax and the other person will be much more at ease. Fourth, “Hi!” Do not be afraid to say hello and add your name. Do not keep the other person wondering what your name is, and do not assume that they will remember it if you have met before. This helps ease those awkward, silent moments during initial contact. Fifth, “Lean,” as in lean slightly forward. Directing your motions and words toward the other person is like a magnet; they will want to be closer to you, too.
If you botch the first impression, it’s OK. People want to connect; life is much sweeter when we are with others and can ride the good and bad times together. So, go for it, but perhaps practice first the elements of a good greeting.
[A version of this story ran on page 9 on 2/19/2015 under the headline “How to make a good first impression"]
