A survey conducted in the fall by the University of California, Los Angeles, revealed that first-year college students are more depressed than ever. It’s not just first-year students who are facing mental health issues, however.
An American College Health Association study from 2011 reported that 30 percent of college students in all grades have felt so depressed that it was difficult to function, and nearly 7 percent of college students seriously contemplated suicide.
What happened to college being the best years of our lives?
The world became more competitive. Expectations evolved and most of us have simply accepted them. College students are now more than ever supposed to manage leadership positions, pursue high-paying careers, get excellent grades and be healthy — all while finding love, following a religion and keeping family in mind. When we come up short — which is impossible to avoid — we often feel disappointed and stressed.
Those feelings can be avoided. How so? By being selfish. Accept that society asks too much of us and set your own realistic goals. Discover what you want to do with your life and ignore what society pressures you to do.
Pursue leadership positions and get involved in organizations only if you’re passionate about them. Devote a significant amount of time to your love life or religion, or ignore them both completely. Register for classes that make you want to get out of bed. Spend an hour on the treadmill if that’s what excites you, or hang out responsibly downtown if you’re craving it. Either way, make decisions that will make you happy and inch you closer to your own dreams — not society’s.
As for the socializing agents who create the Bigfoot-sized shoes you are expected to fill, help them understand their role in your life. It is their responsibility as a mentor, friend or relative of a college student to encourage you to raise the bar and challenge yourself. They shouldn’t raise the bar for you. Remind them that you run your own show.
Furthermore, ask them to refrain from pushing you toward careers, involvements or values that they want you to adopt. Most likely, they just want to see you fit into society’s definition of success, but their impositions often become overbearing. So tell them that you are going to paint your own portrait, but you still want them to stand by you and encourage you to paint.
Not all of us have to become presidents of student organizations, valedictorians, ministers, athletes and humanitarians at the same time. In fact, tending to those expectations will lead to disappointment and stress. Shrug them off if they’re not for you, and find the success that you define. Sure, you’ll still face stresses from other directions, but you’ll make the best out of what you can control.
A 2013 Gallup poll reported that unhappy employees outnumber happy ones by a ratio of two to one. You can take one step toward avoiding that unfortunate outcome right now.
Ask yourself if you’re happy with what you’re studying and involved in. Then take out a sheet of paper and rank your happiness from one to 10. Write down everything hindering you from reaching 11 and selfishly decide what you’re going to change. Despite the pressures society imposes on you, it’s your life. All you have to do is take control of it.
Christopher Wilde is a UF biochemistry freshman. His column appears on Wednesdays.
[A version of this story ran on page 6 on 2/18/2015 under the headline “Happiness found through selfishness"]
