Forget math, science and history — students and parents are more concerned about sex in the classroom.
This past week, Las Vegas students protested for a medically accurate sexual education curriculum. This spring, California parents petitioned to remove an “inappropriate” sex ed book from classrooms.
These specific issues with sex ed might be new, but the question of how to talk and teach about sexuality isn’t.
The topic of sex ed was actually one of the first in my sexuality studies course this semester. We discussed where and how each of us learned about sex.
Some students mentioned fifth grade health videos. Some lucky kids said they had productive conversations with parents. A few credited porn. One said that he learned about sex by playing The Sims.
The sources varied, and — presumably — so did the quantity and quality of information. To put it in perspective, only 22 states require sex education, according to Guttmacher.
Here’s a sobering thought: Florida isn’t one of them.
This lack of education sets us up for failure in terms of sexuality. I had very little sex ed, but what I did have was too late and not enough.
My most in-depth sex ed lesson was in ninth grade, and by that time — thanks to the Internet and my filthy mind — I was already well-versed in the how’s, what’s and why’s of the bump-and-grind.
I think I turned out pretty OK in terms of sexual knowledge, but the Internet is full of weird things. If that’s the only form of sex education that you get, then you’re not getting a comprehensive lesson.
The sexual education that you get from lunchroom gossip or furtive Googling probably won’t include the information that you need to have a healthy sex life.
Your curiosity might lead you to learn what it means to “Eiffel tower” someone — thanks, Urban Dictionary — but it’s less likely that you’ll learn what STI symptoms to look out for, or what consent means.
Refinery29 ran a recent article about how we talk about sex, and they nailed it by saying: “Sex ed exists, sure — but it needs to address current conversations (and practices) involving sex if it is going to make an impact.” It’s not enough just to say that a man and a woman have sex and nine months later, there’s a baby.
Today’s sex ed needs to teach kids that there might not always be a man or a woman. The goal isn’t always to make a baby.
We need to talk about issues that aren’t already commonly discussed, including sexting, safe sex for gay couples, gender identity and sexually transmitted diseases.
We need real-life scenarios and real-life answers, not just diagrams and anatomical lessons.
Sometimes it’s really awkward to verbalize our thoughts about sex, especially across generations — that is, between adults and youth.
But there are so many ways to exchange information that we can’t use communication barriers as excuses.
Share an article on Facebook. Buy a book about sexuality and earmark some important pages. Listen to a podcast together.
As young adults, it’s easy for us to brush this off: “I’m past the point of sex ed and I don’t have kids yet. Not my problem.”
But the real problem here is how we think about sex as a whole. We don’t talk about it. We brush it under the rug. We stigmatize those who engage in sexual behaviors. This is a problem that anybody — yes, even you — can work on.
Our culture is one that is unwilling to have healthy and productive conversations about sex, and that’s bleeding over into our school curriculums.
If we were more open about sex in general, it would be less of a taboo to discuss it in a school setting.
So remember this now, and remember it in five, 10, 15 years if you have kids. Talking about sex isn’t bad. Having sex isn’t bad. But preventing kids from having comprehensive and accurate sex education is bad.
That’s where conversations about sex come in. If we start to normalize sex in everyday life, sex in schools will become more normal too — and that’s one smart lesson to teach.
Robyn Smith is a UF journalism junior. Her columns appear on Fridays.
[A version of this story ran on page 9 on 11/21/2014]
