At the end of the fairy tale, Cinderella lives happily ever after. Why wouldn’t Tinderella as well?
A column from last week detailed all the things wrong with Tinder, ultimately labeling it a lazy dating app.
The author’s argument was that Tinder is “creepy, pointless and potentially trashy.” She said it promotes superficial dating and the “stereotypical sleazy, college hook-up scene.”
You might not use Tinder personally, or approve of casual hook ups in general, but those are some unnecessarily harsh words.
Honestly, how is picking up partners on Tinder any different from picking up partners at a bar?
Sure, you don’t physically swipe left or right on someone in public, but there’s still a similar inner dialogue:
“Oh, that person’s hot.”
“She’s not my type.”
“I wonder what he’d look like naked.”
Like it or not, a lot of dating is based on appearances and first impressions. You find a person attractive, so you approach them and then see where it leads.
No one sits at a bar and points out someone to their friends with the comment, “Dang, that girl looks like she’s got a great personality.”
While I’d like to think that people swipe me to the right because of my highly entertaining four-sentence Tinder bio, that’s probably not the case.
Unfortunately, you can’t tell much about someone’s personality until you talk to them, and in the dating world, you’re most likely to talk to someone whom you find attractive.
Tinder just simplifies this.
As such, you can’t criticize Tinder without criticizing dating in general.
The only big difference that I can find between the two is that Tinder users are a little more forward. No one has come up to me at a bar, or anywhere in public for that matter, and asked, “Sit on my face?”
There’s nothing wrong with being a little forward, though, especially on a known hookup app. It confuses me as to why some people are scandalized by this aspect of Tinder.
Someone asked you to hook up on an app specifically designed to facilitate hookups? The shock. The horror. How could anyone have seen this coming?
Sure, I got a few hypersexual messages. Someone asked me, “Chipotle and f**k?” Another simply sent “Dtf?” Admittedly, these are probably things I wouldn’t be asked — at least during our first conversation — in a real-life dating scenario.
But the majority of my conversations on Tinder were normal. We talked about classes, where we were going out that night and what we like to do in our free time.
Most of the time, it wasn’t creepy, and it wasn’t sleazy.
In many ways, it was actually a lot less creepy than meeting someone in person. There’s no “unmatch” button in real life. If someone gets too forward with me, I either have to suck it up or leave the venue.
Tinder gives you full control. You pick who you swipe right on. You pick who you talk to. You pick who you meet up with, or even if you meet up at all.
The author of last week’s column said Tinder “will not satisfy any user looking for quality dates or relationships.”
But I don’t think that’s what a majority of Tinder users are looking for.
Without sharing too much, I’ve met up with exactly one person from Tinder, and it wasn’t because I was interested in dating them.
My experience with Tinder ended up being really positive, though. I had a good time, and I got exactly what I wanted out of it. It was fun. It was easier and just as fun as meeting someone in person.
If you’re one of those people who has “not looking to hook up” or “I’m just on here to talk to new people” in your about me section, then yeah, you’re probably not going to get the most out of Tinder.
But if you use it for its intended purpose, Tinder can be a helpful app.
And if you yourself are a Tinderella, good luck in finding your Prince Charming — even if it’s just for a night.
Robyn Smith is a UF journalism junior. Her columns appear on Fridays.
[A version of this story ran on page 7 on 10/3/2014]
