Mother Nature got the best of Florida football on Saturday.
Thunderstorm after thunderstorm and more than two and a half inches of rain turned the Swamp into just that and forced Florida’s season opener against Idaho to be suspended and ultimately ruled a no contest.
But we here at alligatorSports Brand Picks Column would rather focus on the sunny days that lie ahead.
What? There’s supposed to be rain and thunderstorms at the start of the Eastern Michigan game, too? Well, there goes that.
Debating the game of the week — No. 14 Southern California vs. No. 13 Stanford — are alligatorSports staff writer Jonathan Czupryn and alligatorSports Editor Jordan McPherson.
Stanford (-2.5) will drown USC’s hopes of winning because …
My boy Richard Johnson says it best: Offensive linemen win championships. OK, so maybe that’s a little hyperbolic, but you get what I’m saying. David Shaw’s "black and blue" brand of smashmouth football starts and ends with that monstrous front five of his. And the Cardinal are known to use a jumbo set up front that actually puts anywhere from seven to nine offensive linemen on the field at the same time. The Trojans defense cannot handle Shaw’s power-type system and the Cardinal will hog the ball all game. USC’s offense looked efficient in the season opener, but it’s hard to score points when you can’t get on the field.
-Jonathan Czupryn
USC (+2.5) will wash Stanford away on Saturday because ...
After losing to the Cardinal for four straight years, the Trojans finally went back into the win column in the series in 2013 with a 20-17 win at home. And after racking up 701 yards in its season opener against Fresno State, expect USC to do more of the same against Stanford.
-Jordan McPherson
Now onto the picks!
In first place with a 6-1 record is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar "Scarface" Thompson, who said at a media availability this week that if he were to have a rags-to-riches story, it would be slightly similar to the one portrayed by Tony Montana. Well, based on your success through one week in the picks column, is it too early to say hello to your little friend?
Trailing Edgar by one game with a 5-2 record is alligatorSports.org Editor Richard "Offensive Line Play" Johnson, who probably talked more about Texas A&M and Stanford’s o-lines on Wednesday’s alligatorSports podcast than anyone ever wants to hear. Oh, and he hates Chipotle. How do you even live?
Also in second place is alligatorSports staff writer Jonathan "What’s his last name?" Czupryn, whose surname is so damn hard to pronounce that the people at the SEC’s weekly teleconference didn’t even attempt to say it. Why can’t you be like the rest of modern society and have a last name that people can at least guess its pronunciation?
Finishing up the three-way tie for second is alligatorSports staff writer Morgan "I LOVE TODD GURLEY" Moriarty, who tweeted excessively about the Georgia running back while we waited in the press box for Florida’s game that never came last weekend. WE GET IT. Gurley’s a beast. You don’t have to fill our timelines with the same damn thing every 30 seconds.
Rounding out the alligatorSports group in fifth place with a 4-3 clip is Sports Editor Jordan "I’m too young for this s**t" McPherson, who was caught with a deer-in-the-headlights look when Alligator Photo Editor Kan Li snapped a photo of him in the press box Saturday. It’s a big and scary world out there Jordan, so if you ever feel like you need a hand to hold, Edgar sits right next to you. And we all know he’s seen his fair share of s**t in this world.
In a tie for sixth place with a 3-4 record is Nick "Facts aren’t relevant" de la Torre, who tried to make the argument that Idaho’s football stadium (cap. 16,000) couldn’t hold as many people as UF’s O’Connell Center (cap. 11,548) during media availability this week. I guess facts don’t matter when you’re trying to make a point, right?
Also in sixth place batting under .500 is Landon "Literally could find things to talk about for 48+ hours" Watnick, who blabbed on so much during media availability Wednesday that our own Richard Johnson had to move across the room just to get some work done. Landon, I get that you’re on a new and exciting adventure after locking up this job with Inside the Gators, but GOOD GOD CUT US A BREAK! We have to listen to people ramble on all day long so when we have a little peace and quiet, PLEASE LET US HAVE A LITTLE PEACE AND QUIET!
And in dead-ass last with a piss-poor record of 2-5 is Thomas "I’m probable" Goldkamp, who was called out by Will Muschamp for not being on his injury report Monday after he cut his thumb on a plate. Really? A plate? Are we going to have to send you back to the kiddie table?
Stanford head coach David Shaw watches his team play UC Davis during the second half of an NCAA college football game on Saturday, Aug. 30, 2014, in Stanford, Calif.
