Site: Your couch (Cap. 4)
Kickoff: All Day, Saturday
TV/Radio: Every Channel
Well, our first bye week is here.
And for us here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column, that means we have a little bit of a break from the humdrum of our lives that revolve around live-tweeting football press conferences.
There was no #MuschampMonday, no #StoryTimeWithRoper, no D.J Durkin (we have yet to find an appropriate hashtag for the defensive coordinator’s Wednesday-afternoon pressers; suggestions are always welcome).
But with all that said, take this weekend to enjoy yourself, Gator fans. You need it after last week.
Now onto the picks!
Returning to form and making it back to first place at 18-12 is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar "shank-apotomus" Thompson. Went golfing with the main man from the Orlando Sentinel over the weekend. I enjoyed the lesson in cart etiquette, and the pointers on the putting stroke. One day we’ll find that drive you hit on the back-nine, maybe it’s out on 34th street.
Falling one spot to second place with his 17-13 record is alligatorSports writer Jonathan "I’m a redneck" Czupryn, who wore a Harley-Davidson T-shirt, light-wash dad jeans and Sperrys to volleyball media availability. Of course AlligatorSports assistant editor Eden Otero called you out, you looked like Tuscaloosa really agreed with you.
In third with a 16-14 record is Inside the Gators’ Landon "road quest quiz-taker" Watnick. Look Landon, I know school comes first, but could you really not have gotten that quiz done before hitting the road to come back from Tuscaloosa? Must have been mighty-awkward to ask Nick to pull over in BFE, Georgia so you can log onto Sakai. Hope it wasn’t down when you went to submit.
And now, somehow, we have a freaking FIVE-WAY TIE for dead-ass last this week, all sporting a piss-poor record of 14-16.
First is alligatorSports editor Jordan "Just keep throwing my pitches" McPherson, who talked with the Alabama student newspaper sports editor in the Bryant-Denny Stadium press box about softball for what seemed like an eternity. Really, man? Hopefully it was better than your average interview with Hannah Rogers. But in this case, your defense (read: your fellow football writers) will not have your back.
Next up is alligatorSports.org Editor Richard "#FreeOJ" Johnson, who tweeted out that hashtag without context when referring to Alabama tight end OJ Howard, who had not caught a pass all season prior to facing the Gators. Or was he? I guess we’ll never know.
Third is alligatorSports writer Morgan "Booster Seat" Moriarty, who has to sit on a cushion in order to see above the wheel when she drives. And on top of that, had no problem driving close to 90 miles per hour on the way to Alabama. Were you trying to kill us, Morgan?
Fourth is Gator Country’s Nick "Girl you got the beat right, killin’ in your Levis" de la Torre, who played "American Kids" by Kenny Chesney and "Leave the Night On" by Sam Hunt at least 20 times each on the car rides to and from Tuscaloosa last weekend. Nick, we understand you enjoy making out on living room couches and blowing that smoke on a Saturday night, but Jesus Christ.
And finally is 247sports.com’s Thomas "I’m not the only one who sucks at the Picks Column" Goldkamp, who has been in dead-ass-last since the first round of picks this season. While you may not be at the bottom of the Picks Column totem pole by yourself anymore, Goldkamp, you’re still in dead-ass-last.
