"The Greenes always request for small slices. You can ask them if they would like just a little more, or if they are sure they are full, and they always express with certainty, ‘I really only want a tiny slice.’
But a few minutes later, one of them is bound to ask for another slice. Then the round of tiny slices proceeds. This is what we call the ‘Greenes portion.’"
This folktale indicates how serving food apportionment constitutes a kind of communication. Whether serving food in a family setting or at a dinner party, the expectations and behaviors that accompany the service carry deeper social meaning.
Indeed, food serving may be interpreted as an expression of the feelings, attitudes and sensitivities of the participants.
Offering to share food or the delegation of the last piece on the serving dish are acts of communication, hence "The Rhetoric of Portions," as defined by linguist Amy Shuman.
The sharing of food requires tact and skill in communicating. The rules of conduct accompanying food apportionment carry social meaning, and they may not always be in agreement.
Food apportionment in Western civilization was mainly self-service until the end of the 19th century when the host began to serve food and apportion it to guests with careful attention to status.
If given inappropriate portions, the guest might be insulted, at times intentionally: In-laws may be given less food than the children or small portions may indicate a critique of the diner’s waistline.
Likewise, the guest has protocol in how to act (be interested in the host, not just the food) and how much to eat.
Food left on the dish may be a compliment or may signal wanting more food. Family members also follow dining etiquette with some families developing secret codes in how to act when guests arrived: "F.H.B." for "Family Hold Back" when the guests need more food, "L.K.F." for "Lick and Keep Forks" to ensure there will be enough flatware for everyone, or "M.I.K" which designates "More in Kitchen."
A lone piece of chocolate cake remains. Who gets it? The last piece or the "old maid" becomes a subject of elaborate negotiations in who should offer and who should accept it.
How much food is available, the modesty of fellow table mates, and equality come into the elaborate and subtle politics of dining etiquette. Serving food, receiving food and eating together is no simple matter.
For more, read: Amy Shuman, "The Rhetoric of Portions"
[A version of this story ran on page 9 on 8/7/2014 under the headline "Dining: The rhetoric of etiquette"]
