Here it is, y’all: Your Summer-A-is-over-and-all-I-have-is-this-stupid-editorial edition of Darts & Laurels.
On Tuesday, we took an official stance on the anti-abortion bill that Gov. Rick Scott signed: We are patently against the governor’s actions on this particular issue. Scott continues to make controversial moves as election season draws closer. Tampa Bay Times columnist John Romano called out the governor in yesterday’s paper, highlighting his skeezy policy of only allowing TV interviews if his public relations reps are allowed to hand-pick the subjects, questions, reporters “and, presumably, ferns.”
Scott, Romano went on to argue, has made inaccessibility his thing — kind of like the way President Franklin D. Roosevelt made fireside chats a thing, except what Scott’s doing is slimy and cowardly. Yeah, we know darting Scott is liking shooting a bald, dead-eyed fish in a barrel at this point, but we’re tossing a this-is-not-how-you-get-re-elected DART at Scott.
Off a throw-in pass, the U.S. soccer team sent our hearts soaring within the first minute of its debut in the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Jermaine Jones passed to Clint Dempsey at the U.S. vs. Ghana match on Monday for a 1-0 lead. Ghana responded in the 82nd minute, and the U.S. countered with a header goal to eventually win the game 2-1. This comes as a redemption win to our futbol boys as Ghana knocked the U.S. out of the 2006 World Cup in Germany and the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, respectively. We’re kicking a don’t-call-it-a-comeback LAUREL to the U.S. soccer team.
The Sunshine State, as the nation knows, regularly churns out weird headlines depicting Florida folks doing crazy things. While we love to laugh at the strange news, not all of it is good. Florida achieved a new level of notoriety yesterday when the state performed its 43rd execution by lethal injection in 14 years — an extremely steep rate.
Florida has a dirty history when it comes to executions. In 2006, the state botched a lethal injection: A procedure that should have taken 10 minutes took half an hour when the executioner assigned to kill convicted murderer Angel Diaz “pushed catheters through both veins and into subcutaneous soft tissue,” according to CBS Miami. Then-Gov. Jeb Bush put a moratorium on lethal injections, but that moratorium was lifted in 2007 by then-Gov. Charlie Crist. Florida has also had severe problems with electrocutions in the past.
This is truly a frightening problem, and it’s indicative of a fractured justice system. The death penalty should be a last resort, and furthermore, shouldn’t be performed at all if it’s done incorrectly. This week, we’re throwing an it’s-time-for-real-change DART at the Florida Department of Corrections.
To end on a light note, we’re tossing a stay-classy LAUREL at all you Summer A kids studying for finals and celebrating a job well done. Good luck, and we’ll see you in July.
[A version of this editorial ran on page 6 on 6/19/2014 under the headline "Darts & Laurels"]
