Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and we know some of you will be sulking in front of the TV with a heart-shaped pizza. Depending on what your Facebook relationship status claims, here’s how we suggest spending Friday night with everyone’s favorite Valentine: alcohol.
Facebook says: In a relationship, but my boyfriend can’t perform
What to watch: “Sex and the City”
Bartender, I need a: Little D***’ll Do
Recipe:
2 oz George Dickel Tennessee whiskey
3 to 5 splashes Mountain Dew citrus soda
Facebook says: Single and lonely
What to watch: “The Notebook”
Bartender, I need a: Box of wine
Recipe: Go to Publix
Facebook says: Boys? Who needs ‘em?
What to watch: “Bridesmaids”
Bartender, I need a: Girl’s Night Out
Recipe:
1 oz Archers peach schnapps
1 oz Archers cranberry schnapps
1 oz Archers lime schnapps
8 oz lemonade
1 oz grenadine syrup
Facebook says: Girls? Who needs ‘em?
What to watch: “The Hangover”
Bartender, I need a: Don’t Touch My Mustache
Recipe:
1 oz Captain Morgan Parrot Bay coconut rum
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz grenadine syrup
Facebook says: Looking for a sugar daddy
What to watch: “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”
Bartender, I need a: Big Daddy Woo Woo
Recipe:
1 oz aquavit
1/2 cup hard cider
1/2 cup beer
Facebook says: I have a friend with benefits
What to watch: “He’s Just Not That Into You”
Bartender, I need a: Brief Encounter
Recipe:
1 oz peach schnapps
1 oz coconut liqueur
1 scoop orange sherbet
1 dash grenadine syrup
Facebook says: All my friends are getting engaged. What’s wrong with me?
What to watch: “Bachelorette”
Bartender, I need a: Chocolate Confusion
Recipe:
1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz vanilla rum
1/2 oz Frangelico hazelnut liqueur
1/2 oz dark creme de cacao
5 oz milk
1 oz chocolate syrup
Facebook says: I’m on Tinder
What to watch: ”Knocked Up”
Bartender, I need a: Dew Me
Recipe:
1 oz Jack Daniel’s Tennessee whiskey
1 oz Southern Comfort peach liqueur
1 splash lemon juice
4 oz Mountain Dew citrus soda
Facebook says: Valentine’s? That’s today?
What to watch: “Pineapple Express”
Bartender, I need a: Dirty Bong Water
Recipe:
1 oz Chambord raspberry liqueur
1 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1 oz amaretto almond liqueur
1 oz spiced rum
1 oz sweet and sour mix
Facebook says: I swear my girlfriend exists
What to watch: “Lars and the Real Girl”
Bartender, I need a: Home Alone
Recipe:
2 oz vodka
2 tsp Kool-Aid Berry Blue mix
1 tbsp sugar
4 oz Gatorade Riptide Rush energy drink
1/2 oz Mountain Dew lime soda
All recipes from drinksmixer.com.
[A version of this story ran on page 10 on 2/13/2014]
