If you Google “Valentine’s Day sex,” you’ll get about 312 million results. That’s a lot of ideas.
And, to be honest, probably about 311.9 million of those ideas are really pointless. No offense to the Internet, but I can surprise my partner by wearing naughty lingerie any day of the year.
It seems like a lot of people have this idea that Valentine’s Day sex is completely different from regular sex.
But there is no law that says you can have really kinky, hot sex only on Valentine’s Day.
Unless you are, for some strange reason, using candy conversation hearts in your sexual encounter — and if you are, please let me know how and why — sex on Valentine’s Day is no different than sex on any other day.
I feel that couples often feel the need to make Valentine’s Day special or more intimate. That’s a silly way of thinking. If you set your sights so high, you are bound to be disappointed.
Valentine’s Day is much like any other holiday in that the expectations are far greater than the reality. While New Year’s Eve never quite gives you the wild party you want, Valentine’s Day usually fails to deliver the simultaneous orgasm-and-cuddle combo that you are so desperately hoping for.
There is also no need to spice things up on Valentine’s Day just because it’s a special day.
The holiday doesn’t mean you have to break out the handcuffs or whips, unless that’s a kink you are actually into.
If that’s the case, why wait until Friday to tell your partner you want to try something new?
Good sex requires good communication all 365 days of the year.
But if you do want to try something new — great! The best thing about Valentine’s Day is that you can use it as the basis for starting a sexual discussion with your partner.
I imagine it can be nerve-wracking to tell your partner that you are really into BDSM or that you have a small-but-totally-normal-please-don’t-think-I’m-weird foot fetish on a regular Tuesday. It might be easier to bring that up on a day that revolves around love and sex.
Just like with any sex act, make sure you and your partner discuss it first.
I don’t recommend springing anal sex or butt plugs, or any new thing for that matter, on him or her as a romantic surprise.
Get creative, though! Valentine’s Day is a fun holiday because instead of buying each other gifts, you can just exchange sexual favors. I’m a big fan of the cheesy coupons that you give for the other person to redeem.
Just make sure you are comfortable with the sex act you choose. For example, don’t choose to gift your partner oral sex if, like Charlotte York, putting genitalia in your mouth tops the list of things you hate.
Your partner is going to enjoy the gift a lot more if he or she can tell you are also super into it.
I’m not saying your Valentine’s Day can’t be special — just remember that it doesn’t have to be.
There are a lot of possibilities for spicing up your sex life on Valentine’s Day, but sometimes that also means a lot of pressure and stress.
It’s OK to just have plain, vanilla sex, just like it’s OK to have sex on a bed of roses or to celebrate by having a threesome.
Just remember that there are 364 other days of the year to do those things, too.
[Robyn Smith is a UF journalism sophomore. Her columns appear on Mondays. A version of this column ran on page 6 on 2/10/2014 under the headline "Real talk: Valentine’s Day sex isn’t special"]
