It’s 7 a.m. on a Sunday, and you feel like your heart is going to burst.
Maybe you had a little too much to drink last night.
Maybe you woke up abruptly from a nightmare.
Or maybe you’ve just hit mile 10 on the elliptical.
Let’s be real, you don’t always run 10 miles, but when you do, it’s because you alone ate 80 percent of the pizza you ordered Saturday in a failed attempt to get your roommates to listen to you complain about your not-so-significant other.
But hey, this morning you got your ass out of bed and worked up to that 138-beats-per-minute heart rate.
OK, maybe that’s just us neurotic folk, but regardless of how you deal with breakups, they’ll always be a thing.
In the words of the song Tupac sampled in “Changes,” that’s just the way it is.
An infographic published last week in Know More, a Washington Post Wonkblog, illustrates breakup statistics.
The information presented is digestible and relatable to pretty much anyone who’s ever been involved with anyone else.
Through research compiled from the U.S. Census, various social media outlets and a Durex global sex survey, the data in the chart explores trends in fizzled relationships.
And while an internal dialogue and overspeculation of what went wrong may seem like the way to figure out what to do differently in your next dating adventure, maybe all you have to do to keep moving forward is revel in the fact that it’s not Monday and it’s a long way to December.
(The day of the year you’re most likely to be broken up with is the first Monday in December, according to the stats.)
Instead of focusing on the negatives and what day it isn’t, remember that attitude is everything — I know it’s cheesy, but it’s true.
Whether you were the dumper or the dumpee, breakups aren’t pleasant.
So let’s try to look at this infographic through the eyes of Mr. Rogers or, you know, whomever you consider a positive role model.
Maybe you were just broken up with, but according to the graphic, if you were born after 1984, it’s highly likely you were dumped in person or over the phone.
At least you were acknowledged, and even though conversations that break things off can be tough, you’ll get through it.
As Mr. Rogers once said, “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
I realize I sound a little preachy quoting Mr. Rogers.
So here are a few words for those of you whose role models are a bit rougher around the edges: “Post break-up sex that helps you forget your ex.”
Maybe like The Vaccines you, too, can find comfort in engaging in no-strings-attached coitus.
According to the Know More infographic, 47 percent of men and 40 percent of women worldwide have had a one-night stand.
I’m not saying they’re for everyone, but if you’re into that kind of thing, remember: It’s Friday, and you live in a pretty big college town.
OK, so what if you’re not into role models, and none of this is helping to lift your spirits?
Just think, someone somewhere is on a first date right now.
Every day, 3 million people in the world go on first dates.
If you keep up those 10-miles-on-the-elliptical Sundays, one of those people could be you.
Because exercising exudes endorphins, maybe soon you’ll feel up to jumping back into the dating game.
You might find someone with whom to share that box of pizza.
Someone who thinks they like you/who’s pretty sure they do/who would go to Thai with you/if you asked them to.
Marjorie Nunez is a UF journalism senior. Her column runs on Fridays.
A version of this column ran on page 7 on 1/17/2014 under the headline "Breaking up is hard to do — but it doesn’t have to be that way"
