Another year has come and gone for the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column, and we’re in a nostalgic mood.
In our last edition of this fall semester, we would like to thank you for reading this column each and every week.
In the spirit of nostalgia and reflection, we would like to look back at the year that was. Although, Florida stumbled to a 4-8 record in 2013, we feel we performed much better.
As you’ve come to expect, we here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column have a lot of pride and even more bravado.
So, to reflect that, we’ve decided to do a “Best Of” when it comes to this week’s insults of our pickers. But first, alligatorSports columnist Adam Lichtenstein will debate the Atlantic Coast Conference title game between Duke and Florida State with a special “guest.”
Florida State (-29.5) will leave Duke longing for 2013 because...
Jameis Winston is the best player in the nation. End of story. The kid is a beast.
-Adam Lichtenstein
The Blue Devils (+29.5) will sing “Auld Lang Syne” to the Seminoles because...
Go Blue Devils!
-David Cutcliffe
Now onto the picks!
Leading the pack at 69-38-5 is alligatorSports Assistant Editor Adam “D-II, here I come!” Lichtenstein, who declared he could crack the roster of a Division II basketball team. Sorry, bud. Most teams are probably looking for guys who can actually score.
In second place with a record of 64-43-5 is alligatorSports Staff Writer Joe “WE DON’T NEED TEBOW, OK?” Morgan, who continues to root for the most hopeless team in the NFL. No ugly uniform combination or washed-up quarterback will ever save that franchise.
Coming in at third place at 60-47-5 is alligatorSports Editor Phillip “Holier Than Thou” Heilman, who recently decided to impart some life lessons while playing Madden on Xbox Live. Listen, bud. When you follow up some sage advice by eating a potato chip off your bare chest, it’s hard to take you seriously.
Leading the non-alligatorSports division and in fourth place overall with a record of 57-50-5 is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar “OMG! Im so sry u guys 4 real!” Thompson, who sent a mass email to fellow beat writers following a relatively minor shared transcription snafu. Good Lord, Edgar. Why were you so apologetic? You act like we’re your only friends or something. Oh...
Up next in fifth place is FightinGators.com’s Cody “MIA” Jones, who we don’t even remember seeing at the Georgia Southern game. Sad thing is, we just now realized he wasn’t there. Or maybe he was. Oh, well.
Tied for sixth at 56-51-5 is InsidetheGators.com’s Bryan “3-6-9!” Holt, who expressed his affection for the Lil Jon banger “Get Low” this week. Holt knows a thing or two about getting low, if you know what we mean (He’s short).
Also tied for sixth is 247sports.com’s Thomas “Bueller? Bueller?” Goldkamp, who decided to cut class on Wednesday while the rest of us were enlightened by Professor Durkin. Whether or not he crashed an expensive sports car, we don’t know.
And in dead-ass last place with a piss-poor record of 55-52-5 is Staff Writer Adam “Road trip nightmare” Pincus, who sweat profusely throughout the trip to Kentucky and stepped on a poor, innocent butterfly while stumbling out of the car at a gas station.
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Jameis Winston attempts a pass during Florida’s 37-7 loss to Florida State on Saturday in Ben Hill Griffin Stadium.
