Baseball season is officially over.
Let’s give it up for the Red Sox! Even you, Adam Lichtenstein. Even you.
Now that America’s pastime is over, we can focus on America’s present-time.
You guessed it.
Football.
Of course, now we have to deal with that other game. Who does this King James guy think he is? I thought this was America!
WE ARE A DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
But we digress.
Before we say goodbye to baseball for the next three months, we thought we’d give the game a proper farewell. In fact, the game that gave Babe Ruth a break from eating hot dogs and drinking beer is a lot like football when you think about it.
Pitchers need to toss accurate strikes, and so do quarterbacks — unless you’re Tyler Murphy. Hit the receiver in the chest, man!
Players and fans alike get a break during halftime during football games, and baseball has the seventh-inning stretch. Halftime shows are kind of like “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” if you like 20-minute spectacles.
Actually, forget it. Long live baseball! How many days until pitchers and catchers report?
This week, we have Adam Pincus and Adam Lichtenstein — two guys on the opposite end of the baseball happiness spectrum — picking who will win the Florida State-Miami game. One took time out of his schedule of flipping cars to celebrate Boston’s win in the World Series to make his selection, and the other is busy plotting how best to spend the Yankees’ $300 million of freed budget.
FSU (-22) is going to hit a home run against Miami because...
They have the one-and-only Jameis Winston. “Famous Jameis” knows what sport is best. When he isn’t throwing strikes to receivers down the field, he’s throwing strikes at Mike Martin Field as the future closer on the ‘Noles baseball team. Playing football is just pitch-and-catch for him, and he is going to strike out the Hurricanes on Saturday.
-Adam Lichtenstein
The Hurricanes (+22) will round the bases when they play the Seminoles because...
I’ll take Miami to cover. Students scoring in Tallahassee is nothing new, but the Hurricanes have a statement to make. Look for Duke Johnson to outshine Jameis Winston. Maybe the redshirt freshman phenom should stick to the baseball diamond.
-Adam Pincus
Now onto the picks!
In first place with a 43-26-3 record is alligatorSports Staff Writer Joe “Schmuck Dynasty” Morgan, who incorrectly named the wrong star of the popular TV show, “Duck Dynasty” in last week’s picks column. Sorry about that, folks.
Coming in second at 42-27-3 is alligatorSports Editor Phil “Where the ladies at?” Heilman, who complimented a photo of Joe with two lovely women — who turned out to be Joe’s sisters. Slow your roll, Phil.
Next up with a record of 41-28-3 is alligatorSports Assistant Editor Adam “Sour grapes” Lichtenstein, who ranted all Wednesday night after the Red Sox won the World Series. Shut up, Adam. Maybe the Yankees can win the retirement-home title next year.
Rounding out the alligatorSports staff at 39-30-3 is Staff Writer Adam “The Buck Stops Here” Pincus, who wrote a miniature history lesson as part of a story this week. We didn’t know you had such an affinity for Harry S. Truman.
In first place in the non-alligatorSports division and tied for fourth overall with a record of 38-31-3 is FightinGators.com’s Cody “Live Life At The Mac” Jones, whose Twitter followers are staging a mutiny because he continues to tweet about Gators baseball nearly four months before the season begins.
Making a charge all the way to a tie for fourth is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar “Project Runway” Thompson, who wore a sweater to media availability that was so hideous, he sent players, coaches and other members of the press running. Someone give this man a wardrobe makeover, please.
Up next with a record of 36-33-3 is 247sports.com’s Thomas “Twitter Is Serious Business” Goldkamp, who has been policing the Twitterverse for content. Jeez, man. Not everything that goes up online needs to be critiqued like the Gators’ offense.
And in dead-ass last place with a piss-poor record of 34-35-3 is InsideTheGators.com’s Bryan “Hand Sanitizer” Holt, who is scrubbing down his apartment as we speak in order to protect himself from being infected with MRSA. Face it, bud. You’ve probably had worse.
Follow alligatorSports on Twitter @alligatorSports.
Miami quarterback Stephen Morris (17) passes for a first down during his team's 24-21 win against Wake Forest in Miami Gardens on Oct. 26.
