In case anyone missed the memo, we’re about to enter 2014. If you did miss the memo, then you’re not alone, because Justin Lookadoo, an unfortunately prominent speaker in public schools across the South, seems to believe this is still the 19th century. High schools invite Lookadoo to advise their students about dating as teenagers, but what they receive is a handbook on gender stereotyping.
Someone let this guy publish a book called “Dateable,” which examines the roles of teen boys and teen girls in high school relationships and provides rules for each gender, which he claims are based on the Bible. Sadly, this is less a moral guidebook and more a runaway train into the Dark Ages driven by an extremist conductor with bleached, spiky hair. He’s reinforcing gender roles and calling it “advice,” and public schools are validating him by asking him to speak about it.
His most concrete advice given in a speech to a Texas school was that “God made guys as leaders” and girls should just let them “do guy things” like “get a door and open a ketchup bottle.” Being a leader and man-handling a condiment are two different things, and both genders were endowed with the volition, as well as the ability, to lead and twist off a lid.
One look at his website — where the dateable rules are listed — and it’s easy to see why students and parents are outraged at his message. The Dallas Morning News summarized his lessons to the kids in one sentence: “Being a man means protecting the weak — and women.”
He said the most dateable girls “know how to shut up,” and then he accused teen girls of being their own worst enemies, saying, “The reason it’s so hard for you to succeed these days is not because of guys. You’re doing it to yourselves.”
With such specific and constructive advice, it’s no wonder the girls at these schools have begun speaking out on Twitter and in letters to their schools.
Lookadoo doesn’t go easy on the guys, either. “Somewhere between the modern church and the feminist movement, guys turned into pansies,” he quipped.
Apparently women’s equality comes with obligatory emasculation. He paints “dateable guys” as untamed crusaders, because “they don’t live by the rules of the opposite sex.” Instead, they “fight battles, conquer lands, and stand up for the oppressed.”
Can we get an old-school vaudeville hook over here, please? The Crusades are over.
More than one parent has written a strongly worded letter to his or her local school’s administration about the content of Lookadoo’s dating how-to rant, and rightly so. That this man is trying to uphold these stereotypes is one thing, but it’s even more problematic that the administrations in charge of America’s youth think these are important lessons to be learned.
Another unfortunate backlash here is that this guy associated himself with Christianity multiple times while vaguely citing the Bible. The students who don’t know much about Christianity may have walked away thinking every Christian views gender roles this way, an unfortunate and grossly untrue generalization — but one they can’t be blamed for.
While other states legalize gay marriage — something Lookadoo probably has plenty to say about — it seems like some Southern states are trying to perpetuate the ancient, dichotomous gender roles we scoff at in our history classes. Perhaps social issues are never completely resolved, but in any case, keep those strongly worded letters coming.
Katie McPherson is a UF English junior. Her column runs on Tuesdays. A version of this column ran on page 6 on 11/19/2013 under the headline "Are gender roles still an issue today?"
