Rapper Kanye West and talk show host Jimmy Kimmel reconciled on Wednesday’s edition of Jimmy Kimmel Live! and we here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column could not be more relieved. In fact, as the crew watched the pivotal, emotional exchange between West and Kimmel, there were some tears shed. But not a single one of us would Runaway. We considered this exchange a Good Life lesson. Even the most Heartless among us felt their love grow Stronger as we witnessed this spectacle of forgiveness and understanding.
On Wednesday night, we felt that All of the Lights went on for us.
Clique. Clique. Clique.
And to be completely honest, we’re in the same boat as you, Kanye. When it comes picking college football games against the spread, we consider ourselves geniuses. It may not be politically correct to say that out loud, but if we didn’t, we would just be lying to you and ourselves. Wake up, Mr. West, Mr. West, Mr. West!
This week, alligatorSports Staff Writers Joe Morgan and Adam Pincus — each an American Boy on the verge of Graduation — debate the Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma.
The Longhorns (+14) will keep the Sooners’ love locked down because...
I’m a genius. While Mack Brown isn’t the god he used to be, he will get Texas back to Kanye’s pre-Graduation days. Two words for the Red River Rivalry: Johnathan Gray. He’ll have a breakout game and keep Brown from becoming a College Dropout.
- Adam Pincus
The Sooners (-14) will ball so hard that undisclosed persons wanna find them, first the same undisclosed persons gotta find them because...
Against a Longhorns defense that ranks 110th nationally with more than 465.4 yards allowed per game, I imagine Oklahoma’s point total can’t get much higher — sooooo hiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Hasn’t this Mack Brown thing run its course anyway? I mean, no one man should have all that Poooower. What Bob Stoops order? Longhorn filet? (Yes, I know that’s not a real thing.)
- Joe Morgan
Now onto the picks!
In first with a record of 29-16-3 is alligatorSports Editor Phillip “OH, MY GOD! A RACCOON! RUN!” Heilman, who regressed into a terrified 5-year-old when he saw a raccoon hop out of a dumpster during his walk home from work this week. In the words of sports personality Dan Patrick, “If you’re scared, buy a dog.” Or, in this case, a ‘coon hound.
Sitting in second with a record of 28-17-3 alligatorSports Staff Writer Joe “PEER PRESSURE PANIC!” Morgan, who threw out his back when running in fear after Phillip when the raccoon popped out. We’re not sure which is weaker: your back or your resolve.
In third place with a record of 27-18-3 is alligatorSports Assistant Editor Adam “Redneck Wannabe” Lichtenstein, who channeled his inner red-blooded American by downloading a deer hunter game on his iPhone. I guess downloading an app is cheaper than purchasing a firearm. Maybe Brent Pease will play with you sometime, bud.
In fourth — first in the non-alligatorSports division — with a record of 26-19-3 is FightinGators.net’s Cody “RELEASE THE KIMBREL!” Jones, who was incredibly upset when Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez left Craig Kimbrel in the bullpen while David Carpenter gave up a season-ending home run to Juan Uribe. It’s October, Cody. You should be used to this by now.
Coming in fifth with a record of 25-20-3 is alligatorSports Staff Writer Adam “Dude, where’s my phone?” Pincus, who meandered helplessly around the University Women’s Club on Wednesday after a colleague retrieved his lost phone and hid it in a fake plant. Hey Pincus, can you hear us now?
Tied with Pincus for fifth is 247Sports.com’s Thomas “Just call me coach” Goldkamp, whose dedication to watching film of Florida has led to a few awkward back-and-forth exchanges with Pease. “It’s called the Jets package,” Thomas. If you don’t know the terminology, why don’t you just shut that hole in your face you call a mouth.
Back to where he belongs in dead-ass last with a piss-poor record of 22-23-3 is InsidetheGators.com’s Bryan “I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I...” Holt, who has looked more lost in this year’s Picks Column than Rays outfielder Wil Myers did in right field at Fenway Park last Friday. Yeah, buddy. We’re sure those sunglasses will help you out.
Not to be outdone by Holt’s ineptitude and also sitting in dead-ass last with a piss-poor record of 22-23-3 is Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar “This message has no content” Thompson, who has developed a weird habit of sending entire emails written in the subject line. Would it kill you to click in the body of the email, or, I don’t know, send a text?
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Texas running back Johnathan Gray celebrates after scoring on a 45-yard touchdown run in the first half of his team's 31-30 win against Iowa State on Oct. 3, 2013 in Ames, Iowa.
