Growing up was a challenge in itself for Robert Brown, but growing up as a black, gay male was a different story.
Robert Brown and Nate Gay visited the Institute of Black Culture on Tuesday night for a talk titled “Mr. and Mr. Being Black, Gay and in Love,” to talk about the experience of growing up as being both black and gay in the South and the media attention their marriage received.
Brown and Gay grew up in Kentucky in Baptist families. They said it was hard for them to express themselves while trying to fit a certain image.
“It was kind of hard for me to come out,” Gay said.
Gay had a girlfriend throughout high school and college but said he knew he had feelings for men.
“But I didn’t know how to act on it,” he said.
Brown and Gay met at Walmart when the two were in high school, but their romance didn’t blossom until later.
After a monthlong split from Brown, Gay said he finally realized he knew what he wanted.
“I knew when I told my mom she was going to tell the rest of the world,” Gay said.
Brown had a similar problem and waited until after college to come out.
“I felt like my uniqueness was being hidden,” Brown said. “There comes a point in your life when you feel like you’re not living to the fullest.”
After the struggle of telling their families, Brown and Gay became Internet sensations for publicizing their wedding. Within a week of their wedding video being put on the Internet, it received about 2,000 views, Gay said.
Gay and Brown talked to a crowd of about 40 people, addressing how more public figures are opening up about their sexuality and the importance of love no matter who it’s with.
Dashari Kearse, a 19-year-old UF exploratory student, said he was inspired.
“For a community like ours, it’s the first time that me and everyone else can see our own happy ending,” Kearse said.
A version of this story ran on page 5 on 10/23/2013 under the headline "Gay couple talks love, race"
